Parenting Toddlers

It’s spring - sort of! In our neck of the woods, spring means it’s slightly above freezing and you can see patches of grass on your lawn. It’s very exciting, and people get out their t-shirts and sandals. Anyway, spring means walking. This is something that keeps me sane, and better still, keeps my children quiet. Peanut loves to walk. I give her a snack in the handy snack tray of our stroller, maybe a drink, and we’re good to go. The Little Guy feels the fresh air on his face and immediately goes into a baby coma. The thing is: I would love to go for a walk with both of them. Now we have a single stroller. My father got it at a yard sale for me when I was pregnant with Peanut for like $10, and it is the best. It fits my height perfectly (which I think means I’m the average mom height), it has two cup holders in the front that I put my water bottle in and my keys. It has a little basket for little things or even some groceries. It’s perfect. But it won’t hold both of them. And the Little Guy is far too large for me to carry in a carrier on my chest or back.

So…I’m imposing on you for suggestions. If anyone out there has a toddler and a younger child, do you have any double stroller suggestions? There are millions out there, I know. I’d like to spend under $200. Don’t laugh! There are plenty out there in that range. I’d like one with a pretty high weight capacity because Peanut is getting big and her brother is a big guy. If anyone has a double stroller they use and love, let me know! It’s useful info for other parents, I’m sure. I like to take walks, too, because I feel like it’s a good example to set for Peanut. And because instead of driving to the store, post office, or library, we can walk. And that, too, is a good example. Thanks! I really appreciate it.

I used to sit behind a woman in my English Novel class who had a tattoo on her neck. Since I sat behind, I don’t think it counted as staring if I looked at it. Anyway, it was of Max from Where the Wild Things Are. I love Where the Wild Thing Are, because at heart I am a wild thing. Not many people know this about me, but when I was a kid, I was definitely a master of the wild rumpus. And if I had a theme for my kids’ rooms, it’d be WTWTA. But I’m not really theme people. For all of us fans, there is going to be a WTWTA movie! I might have to use Peanut as my excuse to go see that one.

The movie poster is out, but we won’t get to see the trailer until March 27, when it airs as a preview before Monsters vs. Aliens. Spike Jonze - who has directed music videos, commercials, TV, and movies, most notably Being John Malkovich and Adaptation is going to turn this beloved (and short) kid’s classic into a feature length movie. I wonder what they’ll add to it to flesh it out. I hope they don’t mess up my favorite book!

Are you going to see the film adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are? It may be a bit scary for the toddler set. These monsters are big. And you might not want your child getting ideas from naughty Max. We can’t see the preview yet, but we can see the poster. Here it is:

“There’s one in all of us.” But as parents of toddlers, we already know that.

Don’t you hate when parents make lame excuses for their children - my favorite was when I was a teacher and had students who would talk, talk, talk, during class, do no work in class, and do no homework. Their parents inevitably said, “They’re just bored. They’re not being challenged enough.” Umm hmmm…I had maybe one student that was true for, so we worked out more challenging assignments. I digress though. Back to excuses: Peanut cannot share. She is bossy. She doesn’t play well with others unless she is telling them what to do.

Yesterday and today, we are watching my partner’s brother’s girlfriend’s niece - who I would love to adopt as my very own niece. She’s great. But she highlights Peanut’s deficiencies in sharing. K is the youngest of three children and goes to daycare so she has to share and play well. Anyway, the first thing that popped into my mind when Peanut was acting like a spoiled brat yesterday was, “Well, she’s naturally a leader. She uses her intelligence to direct the play.” As they say on Facebook, WTF?? No, she’s spoiled! Enough excuses. She needs to learn to share.

Today, though, she is doing much better. We gave her timeouts yesterday when she couldn’t share. It’s two, and we’ve only had one incident concerning Mr. Potato Head. And Peanut peed on K’s bed during naptime. Other than that, smooth sailing.

If there’s one thing parents of toddlers want to talk about, it’s the potty. I know this was an all-consuming topic for us a while ago, and we still have accidents and mishaps today. On a post from last year, I received the following comment:

my daughter is a little over 2 and was going to the potty for a few months and doing great with going “#1″, but now she won’t go at all. When we are at home, I put her in undies, not diapers, and I ask her every 30 minutes if she needs to go potty, and she says “no”, then she will hide and wet herself. I have not figured out what to do yet.

My first thought was that at just over two, it is not uncommon at all for setbacks to occur. Peanut was closer to three when she was fully potty trained. During the year she was three, we went one step forward and two steps back. My next thought was that this mom was doing a really good thing by putting her daughter in undies instead of a diaper at home. When they feel wet, they’re more likely to go to the potty because it’s uncomfortable.

This mom asks her daughter is she has to go to the bathroom. “No.” This has happened to me in the past. I learned that before bed I need to make Peanut go to the bathroom. I couldn’t ask - I had to make her go. And more often than not, she needed to even if she said no. So I would suggest having a schedule - every hour maybe have your daughter go whether she says she has to or not. Scheduled bathroom breaks work well for a lot of kids. I think you have to take a lot of the option away. Even now, Peanut will sometimes choose to play instead of going to the potty. I can recognize her “pee pee dance” though and make her go. Don’t ask - TELL!! Maybe try to spot signs that she has to go before she hides and then have her on a schedule. Other parents: is once an hour good? Every hour on the hour?

The other part is the hiding. I asked my fiance what he thought if Peanut did this. He said that first he’d discipline her. We give timeouts. Then he’d make her go sit on the potty. The timeout first so she has to sit in wet underwear - again, this is uncomfortable and hopefully will help her learn that it is not ok to do.
Any other suggestions from potty training veterans?

There is a whole website (and probably a lot of them) devoted to nothing but potty training. I’m going to need this with the Little Guy because boys are foreign to me. I grew up with a bunch of sisters and, of course, potty trained Peanut. Anyway, here is a link for that site. They have some useful information. Good luck! And please, if you have some expertise to share, we’d love it.

This is not meant to alarm anyone, but Randi shared this with me, and I thought I’d share it with you all. We have all probably used Johnson & Johnson for our children. I know that tear-free shampooing was a must in our house. That’s why I love Johnson & Johnson. Anyway, according to an article in the Washington Post, there may be harmful chemicals in some of these baby products. Here’s an excerpt from the article:

More than half the baby shampoo, lotion and other infant care products analyzed by a health advocacy group were found to contain trace amounts of two chemicals that are believed to cause cancer.

Mind you, it says trace amounts. That are believed to cause cancer. Not conclusive, but scary nonetheless.

Some of the biggest names on the market, including Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo and Baby Magic lotion, tested positive for 1,4-dioxane or formaldehyde, or both, the nonprofit Campaign for Safe Cosmetics reported.

These things are not intentionally added - they’re byproducts of the manufacturing process.

“Our intention is not to alarm parents, but to inform parents that products that claim to be gentle and pure are contaminated with carcinogens, which is completely unnecessary,” said Stacy Malkan, a spokeswoman for the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics.

Johnson & Johnson responded by saying that the FDA and other governmental agencies considers the amounts in the baby products to be safe. Others are worried about the cumulative effects of these carcinogens. There is a little of it in a lot of products, and if we use them throughout our lives, what can it do to us? That is the point of watch groups, like the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics.

I thought I’d share this because some of you may choose to switch to different products; it should be your choice, and you should be informed. If you used J&J baby shampoo for your children, I wouldn’t freak out about it. I did with Peanut, and the probably she was exposed to very little harmful chemicals. But I think I’m going to be much more wary with what I use for the Little Guy now. Being a parent is tough, and it helps to be fully informed. So thanks, Randi, for bringing this to my attention.

Here is the link for the Washington Post article . And here is a link for the report from the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, which conducted the product testing.

I just watched Super Nanny and got an idea for this quick quiz. What would you do?

I feel like stapling Peanut to the Naughty Chair at times. This little girl is getting on my last nerve lately. I realize part of it is me - I am cranky. I haven’t slept through the night in…well, she’s three and a half, so about four years, it’s winter and I have cabin fever, and I think I’m just naturally cranky. Anyway, I wrote the other day about how she is testing her boundaries. And to update you: she is still testing her boundaries. I do like spunky children and I don’t want a mindlessly obedient child. Well, maybe I do! No, I like that she has her own mind, but she needs to realize that until she gets a job and kicks into the rent, she has to do what I say when I ask her. I can be polite, but it needs to get done. Tough talk, but the little bugger is getting to me!

So out comes the Naughty Chair. I’ve seen this on Super Nanny and it seems to work quite well. It’s similar to timeout or a Naughty Step or whatever you want to call it. The point is that when your child misbehaves, this is the consequence. Nanny Jo, who I would love to have pay a visit, instructs the parents to keep putting them there until they stay for the allotted time. If they get up, you don’t talk. You just put them back. And back and back. I’ve watched parents do it for forty-five minutes to over an hour. My God. But the kid finally got it. You have to keep at it. I’m sure many of you use timeouts, and we do as well. But I thought I’d get into some tips to make it effective for discipline. Nothing’s worse than your toddler making a joke out of your attempts at discipline.

First, timeouts aren’t punishments. You do this when they engage in a behavior you don’t want repeated not to punish them but to give them time to calm down. If you yell, you are actually reinforcing the behavior. It’s negative but it’s still attention. Timeouts are about your toddler being alone and having time to calm down.

Next, make sure they’re age appropriate. I can’t send Peanut to her room for three hours. She won’t understand why. Experts say that timeouts work well starting between the second and third birthdays. The Little Guy loves to grab my computer cord - I can’t punish (oops, I mean discipline) him though. Your toddler has to understand cause and effect, and this takes a while to form. So make sure your toddler understands the concept before you start timeouts. A good way to know is if you do something that is against the rules - say you throw a towel on the floor. Your child will point it out to you. Instead of being annoyed at the little tattletale, take this as a sign that he’s ready for timeouts! Peanut loves to tattle on her father or me to the other. She’s very ready for timeouts. For toddlers under three, a thirty second timeout is recommended. Anymore than that and they won’t focus on calming down. They’ll get wound right back up. Or forget what they did. That defeats the entire purpose. Though I have forgotten to tell Peanut that she could get up from timeout before. After age three, they get one minute for each year.

For younger toddlers, you don’t have to specify a Naughty Chair or Corner. If your toddler is engaging in unsafe or out of control behavior, have them sit down where they are. Stop and sit. We do this with Peanut. We also take away toys and tv, snacks, and even Bo. No Bo during timeout. Slowly introduce the concept of timeouts. For very young toddlers, instead of traditional solitary timeouts, do one together. If they start getting wild, simply take them to a quiet corner and read a book or just sit together. This works to redirect their behavior before they’re old enough to really get the concept of timeout.

As always, the important thing is to be consistent. If jumping on the couch is cause for a timeout, it needs to be cause for timeout every time. If it’s ok sometimes and not others, then it’s going to be very difficult to discipline your child, and rightly so. Toddlers need clear guidelines. What if at work, sometimes you were allowed to wear jeans and flip flops instead of suits? Fine, but what if you never knew which day it was allowed? You’re fine some days but not others. If that would be confusing to you, imagine what it’s like for a toddler.

Another very important thing to remember is not to discipline out of anger. This is just punishment and it doesn’t work in my opinion. When you are angry, you essentially take it out on the child. I know Peanut sometimes infuriates me. But when I discipline her, I can’t let it show. I have to be calm and take action that will help her learn the rules. It is the same way with my old students. If someone called me a &#&#*($ for instance, it doesn’t pay to get mad. Why? Because they’ll do it again to get a reaction. And again. And again. So, you have to be calm and clear. Discipline, do not punish.

Don’t argue with a toddler. It’s a losing battle. I know this - and yet I do it. Lately, Peanut has been testing our authority, which is perfectly normal. I like a girl with a bit of spunk. But it can be annoying when she won’t listen until I raise my voice. Not good, and as a former high school teacher, I know that when you have to raise your voice, you’re already on your way to losing the battle. So last night, I cleaned the carpet downstairs and took the kids upstairs to watch a movie so they wouldn’t be overcome with fumes. Why I chose to clean the carpet at night, I have no idea. Anyway, I set up the laptop on my bed and let Peanut sit and watch Underdog. Her new favorite. Anyway, the Little Guy and I were sitting and playing, and Peanut starts to jump on the bed. I don’t have a problem with that BUT my computer was sitting right there. Good Lord, she could have fallen off the bed…and hurt my laptop.

So I said, “No jumping while the computer is there.” Once, twice, maybe three times. Then I had to raise my voice. And put her in time out. Then I decided to have a chat with her about her habit of not listening until she got in trouble. If you don’t listen the first time, you go in time out. If you don’t listen again, you’re going in your room (for Peanut, this is a horrible punishment because she loves to be with people…I’d love to be sent to my room). If you continue to disobey or not listen, then I’m going to take Bo away. Uh oh. You know what the little #@$* darling said? “What happens if that doesn’t work?”

Are you kidding me? Then I thought, what does happen if that doesn’t work? So I pulled out the big guns. If you do not listen, then I will have to say “No Grandma Day.” This seemed to get her attention. I’m going to have to start enforcing that - though it’s kind of a punishment for me too. She’s just getting a bit too princess-y for my liking.

Peanut has usually been pretty easy to discipline, and it’s only lately that she’s going through this testing phase. Again, it is normal for toddlers to do this, to push until they reach a limit. That’s why it’s important to have limits. You have to pick your battles. Am I going to chose to battle Peanut over jumping on the bed? No, usually not. She’s safe. Am I going to battle her when she is jumping on the bed with my computer? Yes, absolutely. Why? Obviously she’s more important than my computer, but it is expensive, and if I have to replace it, guess who is not getting a toy for a very long time?

You always have to discipline your toddler when they are engaging in unsafe behavior. Peanut kicked our glass door the other day with some pretty good force. Now I don’t think she’s strong enough to break a glass door, but who knows. Can you imagine a toddler’s foot going through a pane of glass? What a nightmare. And anything involving activity that could harm her brother is instant timeout.

When you are a parent, you have ten million jobs, but discipline is one of the most important. It takes a lot of work, but I think it also saves you a lot of work. For instance, I ran into an old friend whom I haven’t seen in years. She has a daughter the same age as Peanut (yes, you know I compared them in my head). Her daughter has some hearing issues, but she said, she can hear most things with her hearing aids. High pitched sounds, like fire alarms, she can’t hear. Everything else, including voice, she can. And yet, her mother excused behavior because of the hearing problems. She is “hyper” and apparently goes through babysitters like crazy. Her own family doesn’t even like to take her for a few hours.

So what this says to me, without judging because I’m not in their shoes, is that this well-meaning mom excused behavior and now has made a ton more work for herself. She can’t go have a day by herself because no one will watch her daughter - she’s too unruly. I know you have to make allowances for special needs, but there are still things you can do to make sure your child is safe, happy, and well behaved. Not all the time, maybe, but most of the time.

There are tons of sites with parenting advice regarding discipline. You can search according to your specific issue. Like, for instance, Peanut has taken to getting up several times from bed to ask us questions. The other night, she got up five or six times and came into our room. “I have a question. How does a duck learn to fly?” GO TO BED! I had to give her credit though when she came in and said she needed new pants. “Why? Did you have an accident?” I asked. “No,” she said. “These pants aren’t dreamy enough.” So I need to do some work into figuring out why her little butt can’t stay in bed. The time change could be a factor. Also - don’t laugh at me - I can’t sleep during full moons. My mother can’t sleep during full moons. And apparently my daughter is part werewolf too. But I think the biggest thing is that she is not getting enough attention. This is a good post for another day, but if that is the problem, then I can look for some tips online.

The best piece of advice I’ve ever heard, and which Randi reminded me of the other day, is that you have to talk to kids as if you’re not even considering the possibility that they could disobey. You tell them to do something, for instance, and don’t let on that “no” could be an answer. This really works. I did it all the time teaching, and if it works for a 5′4″ woman to tell 6′4″ boys, it will work with toddlers. If your tone conveys authority, your child will perceive it as fact. They must do it. Simple, and yet effective. Work on your tone, and you’ll see how well it works. Chances are you already do it too. Kids know when they hear Mom’s (or Dad’s) no nonsense voice.

The other important part of discipline is follow through. If I say “If you do that again, you’re going to your room,” I better send her to her room if she does it again. If you do not, then your child WILL do it again and again and again. How many parents have you seen do the same thing in stores: If you run off again, we’re going home.” And again and again. You have to follow up and let the child see the consequence. I found myself doing this last night. “If you don’t eat your dinner, you’re not watching a movie.” I must have said that a few times before I realized that I was being ridiculous. So, I started over. I can do that, you know. “I’m telling you. Last chance.” And that was it. She ate.

You won’t always be perfect with discipline, but it is something you can practice. And make mistakes and practice some more. For some excellent advice, check out Dr. Sears. He’s my favorite! The main things are to pick your battles, be consistent, follow through, and keep at it.

No, that wasn’t a trick question. I meant, where’s your toddler in regards to development? I always think Peanut is a genius. This is mostly because I feel like she has superb verbal skills - this is proud mom speak for “She talks A LOT.” When we went for her third year checkup, the doctor commented a few times about how conversant she was. That’s doctor speak for “She talks A LOT.” Anyway, in some other areas, I wonder if she’s on par with other three year olds. I think this is normal for parents to wonder, and if you want to see if it’s normal that your two year old is putting together two and three word sentences or drawing circles, then BabyCenter.com has a toddler section that gives a rundown of each month so you can chart your child’s progress.

I think this can be useful. For instance, I have a feeling that Peanut may be a little lacking in social graces. She stays with me throughout the day and doesn’t have the exposure to other kids that comes through daycare. So that may be one area we need to focus on and make sure she gets exposed to. It’s not, however, a good idea, to compare your kids to others. Well, Peanut is three and a half and can’t read?!?! What? Those prodigy genius kids can read whole novels by that age. It goes the other way too. The Little Guy can sit up on his own. A month before “average.” It’s clear to me that this means he’s physically superior to all babies ever. Parents are kind of crazy, so it’s really easy for us to play the “My Kid’s Way Better Than Your Kid” game. And when our kid is not, in fact, better, then we make up excuses as to why not.

I’m going to gracefully segue into a post about comparing our children. I do this in my head all the time. My partner’s brother’s girlfriend’s niece (henceforth known as K, so I don’t have to keep typing that) is the same age as Peanut. In fact, she is a week older. Anyway, throughout their childhood so far, I kind of compare them. Peanut talked first and walked first. She was potty trained first. Ha ha, I win!! YES!! But we went out to eat last weekend, and the hostess at the restaurant was going on and on about how cute K was. Please…sure if you like “cute.” Peanut is clearly way beyond cute. It’s like comparing a nice, pretty model in a Sears catalog with a supermodel in Vogue. See how sick I am? Some lady, who actually knew this girl’s aunt, commented on how cute she is. And I take offense? Sick, sick, sick. I can see myself morphing into one of those pageant moms.

This makes me wonder why it’s so bad to be average. If I said, “My kids are average,” I think people would look at me funny, like I didn’t love them as much as I should. Sure, I think they are extraordinary. I think Peanut is a genius and the Little Guy is a powerhouse of strength. But it could be they’re just average, normal, everyday kids.

What do you think? Are your kids the most stellar examples of toddler that could possibly be? Or are they average? Is “average” a four letter word in regards to your kid?

Yesterday I went to lunch with Peanut and reminded myself to write a post about table manners. Peanut is a sweet girl, but sometimes her public manners need a little work. She tends to stand up on the chairs or wiggle around a lot when she eats. She has so much energy that it’s hard for her to sit still long enough to eat - is that a great excuse or what? I’m sure millions of moms say the same thing, but it’s not going to a good enough excuse when she’s in school and can’t sit down and listen to the teacher. So, first step sitting down at the table. We’ll worry about school later!

The thing that is important to me to emphasize is that meal times are about the whole family…it’s not the Peanut Show every minute of every day. We’re pretty kid-centric here but enough is enough. So when Peanut is jumping up and singing “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid at the top of her lungs, it is keeping her father and I, and everyone else if we are out at a restaurant, from enjoying their dinner.

Another thing is to focus on acceptable behavior and model it. Say Please and Thank You and give your child praise when he follows the rules. Don’t overpraise though. A simple smile and nod is more than adequate. First because you don’t want to make the focus all about them, and second, this is something they should be doing. You may have to cue them to say Please and Thank You but eventually they’ll get it.

FamilyFun.com has an article on table manners and includes a list of “Nevers.” Here’s the list:
Never…
* Begin eating until everyone has been served.
* Lick the knife! Sharp objects should never be put in the mouth, not to mention that Band-Aids don’t do well on the tongue.
* Lean back on a chair’s hind legs.
* Speak with food in his mouth.
* Chew with her mouth open. In addition, don’t chew noisily.
* Put more in his mouth than he can chew. Small bites should be encouraged. In addition, food should never be shoveled.
* Interrupt others when they are talking.
* Point utensils at others.
* Leave the chair out when he gets up. It should always be pushed in when he steps away from the table.
* Take the last bit of food without first offering it to others at the table.
* Talk about gross or gossipy subjects.
* Get up until everyone else is finished eating.
* Put elbows on the table. After all, Mae West once said, “Keep all uncooked joints off the table.”

Safety things are a must - like licking the knife. That’s a nightmare in the making. Other things like not eating until everyone is served or remembering to push in the chair when you’re done are nice to know, but I think we prioritize our list. If Peanut digs into her food before me, fine. She can refine her social graces as she gets older. For toddlers, I think it’s more important that they don’t yell, scream, or bug other people. Peanut also likes to look at other people’s food (strangers, that is) and comment. Rude! So, before we learn which fork is the salad fork and which is the entree fork, we should learn more basic things. The rest will come later. And again, teaching these things to your child is a lot about modeling the behavior. Peanut sees her grandmother put a napkin on her lap when she eats, so Peanut does it sometimes too.

And if they engage in behavior that is inappropriate or downright embarrassing? I have to tell you something: it’s kind of gross. Peanut, lately, has been saying, “Do you wanna hear something?” She’ll then turn her little rear towards you and fart. Yes, she’s a ten year old boy stuck in a three year old girl’s body. You’d never believe this adorable little girl is so foul. So when she did that yesterday at lunch, that was my 450th sign that we needed to work on table manners. I ignored her. When I do this, she’ll usually say “Excuse me,” and move on. Other little tricks: some toddlers spit out their food. Can you believe it? If your little darling does this, try wiping his face every time he spits. Little kids do not like that! They’ll stop spitting soon. Or if they’re using their utensils inappropriately, take them away for a while as warning #1. They don’t get warning #2 - you just take them away for good.

Dr. Sears, who is my favorite parenting expert, has some great advice for toddlers and table manners. Here’s a sample:
Use utensils to distract. Our daughter, Erin, used to windmill her arms during feeding, causing food to fly everywhere. Our solution? We put a plastic spoon into each of her hands to occupy her while we fed her with a third spoon. You can also try placing toys with suction cups on the highchair tray and letting the child play with them while she’s fed. And of course, there is the tried-and-true spoon-airplane trick — food will land safely into baby’s eager mouth while keeping her entertained.

I do this with the Little Guy! You can read the rest of Dr. Sears’s advice at the above link.

What are strategies you use to control your little one at the table? Do you enjoy mealtimes together?

Oh, also, there’s a story on a subject for parents with babies as well as toddlers. BPA, a chemical found in many plastic products, can have health consequences. I searched high and low for good BPA-free bottles for the Little Guy, and it is always good to use BPA-free plastics for toddlers and yourself of course. You can read more about steps being taken to eliminate BPA in products we use for out little ones at ReviewingBabyGear.com.

…With my daughter.

My partner and I are trying a radical experiment. We look at his work schedule which fluctuates weekly and schedule our own days off. So today was my day off, and I decided to do something with Peanut. Since the Little Guy was born, I haven’t spent much one-on-one time with her; we spend all day together but because the Little Guy is demanding, I often have to put him first. If we’re playing, I’ll have to stop to feed him or change him or hold him. She is very understanding about this, but I have a guilty conscience. She also helps us out a lot, getting diapers or grabbing a toy for her brother. So she deserves a treat too, I’d say.

Now, what to do? I was going to take her swimming, but that planning process would’ve taken too long and necessitated me wearing a bathing suit. So I decided simple was better. Whenever I ask Peanut what she wants to do, her answer is “Play.” That’s really all she’d love to do, and if I join her, she’s happy. So we played a bit - she made me food (that play kitchen was the best purchase ever). Then I read her The Fox and the Hound. Exciting, no? Then we went to our local diner, which has great food and big portions (not good for a diet, but it’s my day off!) and had lunch.

It wasn’t anything earth shattering, but it doesn’t need to be. Spending time with your child is the best thing you can do for them. Just talking to them and letting them have your undivided attention. I didn’t have to stop to take care of her brother, and I could listen to her and let her be silly (that reminds me - tomorrow I’m writing a post on restaurant manners!). She goes out with her father to ice fish and other things like that, so I figured we needed to do something together. I have to take advantage of this time when she still wants to hang out with me! Soon she’ll dread being seen in public with me. Already, I grabbed her hand to walk into the post office, and she said she didn’t need my hand. Oh sad! But she took it without me asking when we went to cross the parking lot…she does need me. A little.

If you have multiple children, it is important to make time to do things with each of them separately. I spend all day with the Little Guy on Friday because that’s Grandma Day for Peanut, so I need to make an effort to do more with Peanut. My mom has six children, and I remember her taking time to do special things with me. Even baking cookies or eating a pretend meal can be great quality time.

I feel like I could improve a lot as a mom, but one thing that we did right was fostering a love of veggies in Peanut. This kid is great with eating vegetables. We never have to fight with her - in fact, when we give her meals, that’s the first - and sometimes only - thing she eats. I know some children who do not like vegetables, and because they are so nutritious it is important that we try to incorporate more into our toddlers’ diets. I think Peanut loves veggies because her father and I do. We have a garden that we grow a great deal of things in, and we freeze some of it for winter time use. Peanut would eat kale straight from the garden - kale is a green a bit stronger than spinach and tastes great steamed.

We also encourage her to try a variety of things. I have vegetables I don’t like, like peas. I hate peas. I like when they come directly from a garden, but I can’t stand canned or frozen or cooked peas. But I have tried them. I don’t care if Peanut doesn’t like things - she doesn’t like onions, for instance - but we always tell her to take a bite and decide after trying them. I didn’t try beets for the longest time because they just looked gross. But you know what? At age 26, I tried them and loved them. So you never know. She’ll take a bite, and after that, she can ignore them. We also don’t get too wound up if she doesn’t like something. Don’t push it - chances are they’ll try it again sometime later and like it.

I saw a study that said children like vegetables with cool names. A bunch of children were given carrots one day. On other lunch days, they were told that the same carrots were really “X Ray Vision Carrots.” They ate twice as many X Ray Vision Carrots as they did plain old carrots. Subsequently, they were more apt to eat more carrots even if they were not labeled with the cooler name.

The leader of the study, Brian Wansink of Cornell, says:

Cool names can make for cool foods. Whether it be ‘power peas’ or ‘dinosaur broccoli trees,’ giving a food a fun name makes kids think it will be more fun to eat. And it seems to keep working - even the next day.

You know what? It works on us too. In a restaurant study, when Seafood Filet changed its name to Succulent Italian Seafood Filet, sales increased 28 percent. People even rated its taste higher. It’s amazing what the mind can do. I’m going to try naming chocolate cake “Disgusting Fat-Filled Lard Ball” and see if that helps me stay away!

So maybe you can try to get your toddler to eat more veggies by giving them cool names. Who knows? Use your imagination and see if it helps your child love vegetables.

One of the common complaints of people in the area in which we live is that there is nothing to do. It is very rural, and that can be true. But there are also things that we get to experience here that people in cities do not. We may have to travel three hours and take a passport to get to a zoo, but we have dog sled races in our backyard. Not our backyard specifically but only a few miles away.

There is a ski resort not far away and they were hosting dog sled races. We paid a $5 donation which went to a foundation which helps area children - $5 for a family of four is great. They had a tent for warming, refreshment tables, and of course, dogs. I was expecting all huskies, but there was actually quiet a mix of breeds. Peanut loved looking at them and we watched some teams cross the finish line. We also got to see the start of a race. This is really exciting. There were 14 dogs per team. They were ready to go. They needed several people holding the lines and dogs and then several more to hold the sleds. If they didn’t, the sleds would have flown away - those dogs just wanted to run. And the sounds - it was so loud. I’ve never heard dogs sound like that. First of all, there were hundreds. And at the start of a race, they are preparing themselves. They don’t bark, howl, or growl, they make this sort of screaming sound. I can’t describe it…it’s like they’re getting themselves all wound up to go. Peanut had a great time; we even took the Little Guy, who slept in the carrier the whole time. Good boy!

No matter where you live, there is bound to be something to do. It could be anything from dog sled races to afternoons at the art museum. It could be going to a national park or checking out a new playground in the city. Wherever you live, take advantage of your local attractions. This is great for a lot of reasons: you don’t have to take toddlers for long car trips; you save money; you see people you know (in our small town, anyway); you are home before crankiness sets in. A good resource is the library. Ours has different events for children, including puppet shows, craft projects, summer reading programs, and a “read and weed” club (you couldn’t have a “read and weed” club for older kids. They’d just make too many jokes, but little kids are still innocent!). They also have weekly story hours for toddlers. This is a good time to see other parents and have your child play with other kids. Even going during the day when no event is going on is great because you get to go somewhere and get out of the house.

My goal is to find a cool thing to do at least once a month, and even though we live in a small town, I’m sure we can do this.

What does your town/city offer for toddler and family entertainment? Do you go? What’s the best event you’ve taken your child to?

On days when you’re staying at home, check this link out for fun things to do in winter. I talked in an earlier post about depression. If you want to take a look at something astonishing, check out this post on Mom’s Soapbox. It’s about electroshock therapy for toddlers. WHAT?? I was shocked. Wow, that was a bad pun, and I didn’t realize it until I typed it.

Winter is fun around Christmas. Around the beginning of March, however, it begins to wear on your nerves. Boredom sets in. Grouchiness sets in. So to relieve some of the late winter doldrums, why not make a pipe cleaner village? What could be more fun than that? Peanut loves pipe cleaners, and I have to admit, they’re pretty cool to play with. So get un-grouchy and create some fun for you and your toddler.

FamilyFun.com has instructions for pipe cleaner people, monkeys, penguins, Whos (think Seuss), and even a pipe-cleanosaurus. Pipe cleaners are still cheap, so you can stock up and get going. I bought 100 “chenille sticks” for $1 at a dollar store. Grab a few packs and you can start your village. Here are the instructions for a pipe cleaner person:

CRAFT MATERIALS:
4 yellow pipe cleaners
Googly eyes
Pencil
Fingernail clippers
Glue

8. Glue on googly eyes and pipe cleaner accessories: hair (a C-shaped snippet of brown), a necktie (looped from red) and briefcase (a length of brown bent back and forth).

There are also pictures to help you if you’re more visual. Now, this may be a bit complicated for younger toddlers, but you can lend a hand. Or you can do the twisty work while they make their own pipe cleaner creations. Either way, it’s fun. It’s important to do something you enjoy too.

You can make a variety of people in different colors and give them some pets. The monkeys are very cute. When you’re finished making the people and/or animals, you can use them like puppets. I’m sure Peanut would want to reenact The Lion King or The Little Mermaid, despite the fact that neither lion nor mermaid were made. Whatever! You can just make a silly little show for yourselves. I think you’ll have as much fun as your toddler. You can set them up in a shoe box for a house or something like that. It really has a lot of possibilities for play, and even the making of the pipe cleaner beings is a nice way to spend a long afternoon.

I’m going to try this with Peanut - not tomorrow. Good Lord, it’s Grandma Day, I can’t do a craft! But we’ll try it on the weekend and let you know how it works.

Parenting Sites 411 has a cute craft idea here. If you have a sure fire way to relieve winter boredom, let us know!

Sunday, we had a great snowstorm. It snowed at least a foot, maybe closer to two. When Peanut goes out the door and walks on the sidewalk, I can’t see her because of the snowbanks. It’s insane. Anyway, Peanut refuses to be crushed by winter. We went outside to play yesterday, and she had a blast. My favorite thing was throwing her in the snowbanks. At first, I sort of lifted her and placed her in them. But after awhile, I just threw her. It’s like throwing someone in water. She loved it. These snowbanks were four feet high or more, so there was no way she’d hit the ground. So we had fun, even in the cold, long winter.

That evening, we did something new. Remember, that’s one way to keep from going insane with a toddler. Try new things! We played Go Fish. I bought some cards for just over $2. They have a letter and an animal on each card. Something else that I liked was that you have to match the capital with the lower case. Peanut doesn’t always recognize A and a as the same letter, for example, and this helps. Making it easier for younger toddlers is the animals. The capital has a “mama” animal, and the lower case has the baby. It’s a good visual way to learn letters. I thought Peanut needed some reinforcement because she’s been getting a little lazy about her letters.

She did a great job even though this was her first time with an organized games. She even did really well when her father won. Peanut and I played together because she doesn’t get that she’s supposed to keep her cards hidden. And that she has to wait her turn to go fishing. And that she can’t keep picking until she gets what she wants. Overall, though, she was great, and it was a new thing that helped pass the winter evening.

Here are two links that you may find helpful. The first one is game suggestions for older toddlers and are great for children who can’t read yet. This one is for Snail’s Pace Race, which is a game that younger toddlers can play. It also has tips for making your own board game - excellent! Younger toddlers can also play Memory or Hi Ho Cherry-O.