Pacifier Separation - A Major Trauma of Toddlerhood
Some people love them. Some people hate them. Most are floating around somewhere in between. As for my family, we are familiar with all the arguments for and against. In our situation, and especially with Alex needing extra comfort during his hospitilizations, we decided to use one. Who are we kidding, when he was in the hospital I could have seriously used one. At his age now though, I am trying to begin weaning him off it, especially since lately he seems more inclined to look for it, or carry it around with him. Now the big issue is how to actually accomplish the separation itself. I scrounged around and hit up some friends for ideas on what worked for them. I also waded through the piles and PILES of tips across the internet on this topic.
So if you’re looking for a way to make the break as cleanly and painlessly as possible, try some of these tips:
1. It’s broken. My friends John and Robin gave me this idea. When their son was smaller and not wanting to give up the pacifier, Robin would take one and cut the very tip off of the latex. Then, when their son tried to suck on it, he would bring it to mom saying “Mom, it’s broken!” They would then make a big deal of throwing it away. She repeated this demolition at the rate of one pacifier per week until they were all gone.
2. The binky fairy. If your child is a little older and can understand the concept, this might be a good one to try. Designate a certain place as “Where the binky fairy comes”. Before bed, your toddler places their binky in this spot (Under a nightlight or next to a special stuffed animal perhaps). When they awake, the binky fairy has replaced their binky with a new toy or special treat of some kind. Hint, if you’re in the middle of the pacifier separation idea right now, the Easter Bunny could also substitute for the binky fairy. I hear they’re both part of the union, so it will work out.
3. Helping others. I can’t remember exactly which mom I heard this one from, but it’s great, and also teaches the wonderful principle of giving. Mom and daughter gathered up all the daughter’s binky’s after seeing a commercial on tv about starving kids in a third world country. They decided that those children needed the binky’s more than the daughter did. They boxed up the remaining binkies and mailed them (Obviously mom did not send used binky’s to the organization, but did buy new ones to mail to the local women and children’s shelter). The little girl did great without the binky’s, and often told her mom “I bet my paci’s are working great for those kids, they always worked great for me!” How cute is that?
I’m sure there are plenty of other new and interesting ways to ease this transition for our toddlers, so if anyone else has a great idea, please post it in comments! I’ll be posting updates on this post throughout the month since it is such a big issues for parents worldwide.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:13 pm
My daughters both loved their binkies and neither of the boys cared for them at all. The older daughter accepted that she was not a baby anymore and didn’t need her binky. I hadn’t really considered weaning the younger one off her binky but she left it on her plate one night after dinner and the dog (Sarah) chewed the rubber part off it while licking the plate at my parents’ house. We found the chewed up binky later that evening after much looking, and the daughter held it up and said “Sarah ate my binky!” She said that for WEEKS afterward but never did cry or get upset about it. She would just tell me matter-of-factly: “Sarah ate my binky!”
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Audrey’s oldest son LOVED his binkie, and still gets it sometimes for a “special treat” - or “special freat” as he says! I’m not sure what tactics they’re using to wean him… I think he’s weaning himself pretty well, actually… he associates binkies with babies, and he certainly doesn’t want to be a baby anymore! He’s 2 1/2!!
Audrey’s second son really only uses his binkie when he’s sleeping, and even then he’s not particularly attached to it.
- Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
April 4th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Those are great tips for the binky! Little Princess sucks her thumb and I see no signs of that stopping any time soon.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:28 am
I’ve done both the “broken” and “passy fairy” techniques. Both worked really well! Of course limiting the time they can be used is always paramount to me…as they get older, it’s only naptime or bedtime, never walk around the house with it in your mouth.
April 4th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
The pacifier princess came to our house and she worked her magic!
April 9th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Hey, I haven’t been over here since I gave up the job, everything looks great! Thanks for your submission to the carnival also ;).
April 9th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Just submitted this to The Baby Bug. Great post! Good luck with the paci. I will have to face that issue soon too.
April 10th, 2007 at 12:25 am
i’m here via the Carnival of Family Life.
my oldest was a “binky” girl, and we were sure she’d still be sucking on one at her high school graduation - but when she was 2 1/2, she left her binky at our friend’s house 30 miles from home, and although we had plenty of “spares”, i said, “oh, no. the binky’s all gone at lena’s house.” and, “matter of fact”-ly she responded, “it’s okay. i don’t need it anymore.” and she didn’t!
i really believe that kids will usually do what they need to do to continue to grow when they’re ready to do it! (this applies to things like sleeping through the night and potty training, too.)
April 11th, 2007 at 10:35 am
[...] What brought me to this short rant is an article on the Parenting Toddlers blog called Pacifier Separation - A Major Trauma of Toddlerhood [...]
April 11th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
The ‘binky fairy’? Faux charitable donations? So, the basic underlying tip here is to lie to your child?
Maybe it’s just me.
April 11th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
The tip is to make the transition as easy as possible on your child. If your child will take a long, drawn out, medically explained reasoning on why they and the pacifier should be separated for all eternity, followed by the latest child physcologist’s explanation, then go for it.
I am simply trying to make life easier for those of us who are around our children day in and day out and know that they will be traumatized by the loss of something that has soothed them since birth.
April 16th, 2007 at 9:34 am
[...] Outraged Parents April 16th, 2007 by Jennifer It seems that my recent post on Pacifier Separation has lit a fire under a select few parents out there. Now before everyone get’s their underwear in a twist, let me specify one thing. [...]
August 18th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
hi i enjoyed the read
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February 5th, 2009 at 11:00 am
We were faced with both of my youngest on pacifiers… We heard that there could be serious melt down’s taking the pacifier’s away from our kids…
So we came up a doctor approved product called Pacifier B Gone… It’s the only truly systemized approach on the market to ensure your child isn’t tramatized by taking the pacifier away from them
June 11th, 2009 at 1:04 am
I was having major problems with my son’s binky addiction! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She emailed me a link to a site that has a free publication ( http://www.bye-bye-binky.com -supported by advertisements) on dropping the binky, so I tried it. Very cool stuff, worked beautifully for my son. Four days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences with this method…. Bella