Parenting Toddlers

I’m going to have to put the dog in rehab. I’m afraid he really does have an addiction problem, and I simply don’t know how to help him at this point. Every time he sees it he just can’t resist. It’s like kryptonite. What is it? Diaper Cream. More specifically, Aquaphor. To date he has chewed up/eaten one big tub, and two medium size tubes of the stuff. It’s a wonder he hasn’t somehow greased his intestines to the point that the end result would shoot out of his rear like some sort of pitching machine. But so far, knock on wood, no projectile … well, you know.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the animal dynamic in our house, let me explain how things work. First, there’s Miss Abby the lab. I call her Miss Abby because at her age, she’s entitled to a little respect. She’s sweet, laid back, gentle, and all around the best dog ever. Abby is very accepting of Alex, and very good about simpy leaving the room if he’s getting too pushy or excited for her. In fact, her only bad habit is a desperate desire to nap right on top of Nick’s pillow during the day.

Then there’s Pandora, the regal, stubborn, and occasionally obnoxious cat. Pandora is a one of a kind in that she has actually become something of a “guard cat” since we got her as a kitten. She adores my husband, mothers me (she tries to clean my hair on a regular basis), and is very lenient with Alex. That’s where her good nature ends though. She actually growls at strange people who come too close, ie, within a five foot circumference of wherever she might be laying at the time.

And last, and certainly pulling up the hind end in the brains category, is Diesel the Great Dane. He’s the addict. He sheds like crazy, lays around everywhere, and begs for food like he’s starving in some third world country. For all his faults though, he absolutely adores Alex. He lets Alex climb all over him, poke him in the eye (I’ve actually seen this, though we obviously try to prevent it), and swat him affectionately with random toys. He is also supremely protective of my son. He shoulders up on any stranger who might be holding or playing with Alex, just to keep an eye on things. He puts his big frame in between us if we’re playing with Alex and he thinks Alex might need a break (ie, whenever Alex screeches, Diesel leaps to attention). In fact, when Alex was tiny and had to be in the hospital, Diesel took up patrolling the entire perimeter of the house from the inside, always ending by Alex’s crib where he would stick his big head over the rails and try to find his little buddy.

So you can see my quandry. Though I have absolutely no idea what could be so irresistable about a tub of Aquaphor (which to me looks and smells just like Vaseline), this is a problem which we are going to have to handle regardless. Looks like it’s time for an intervention. Anyone know a good 28 day program for Danes?