Parenting Toddlers

I find myself telling Peanut things that I need to listen to as well. I feel like I need a clone who then parents me. For instance:

**You’ve had enough ice cream. If you want a snack, have an apple. But, Mom, ice cream is so cold and yummy. No, Katie, have an apple. It’s much easier with Peanut, believe me. Peanut’s eating habits are exemplary. She eats when she’s hungry and stops when she’s had enough, never out of boredom or emotion. She loves veggies, as do I. At least I have that going for me.

**You don’t say mean things about yourself; say something nice to yourself. I tell her this occasionally, though this kid’s self -esteem is not suffering. I want her to believe in herself and love herself. So far so good - with her, at least.

**It’s always good to try new things. I tell this to Peanut when we have unfamiliar foods or when we are doing something for the first time. We have an informal rule about this: if we’re having brussels sprouts for instance, I tell her that she needs to try it. She doesn’t have to eat it if she doesn’t like it, but she does have to give it a try. This extends to other things in life as well, and Peanut is game for a lot of new experiences. I sometimes avoid new experiences, even if I really think I’ll like them. Gotta stop that.

**When Peanut is looking for Bo (who inevitably gets lost around bedtime) she tends to shut down, flop herself down on the bed, and cry. I tell her all the time, wishing and crying is not going to make Bo appear. She’s got to look. Recently, I’ve really listened to myself on this one. I do the same thing. Metaphorically speaking, when life gets a bit tough, I flop down on the bed and cry, wishing things were different and my desires would fall from the sky. This doesn’t happen! Not with Peanut and not with me. I’ve got to get up and look.

Sometimes you have to take your own advice. Feel free to use your best Mommy voice.

I was watching Law & Order:SVU last night (while pretending to work). The issue of the day was vaccines. There was a young toddler who apparently hadn’t yet been vaccinated for measles (they vaccinate for measles between 12 and 15 months). She was at a park and contracted measles from a little boy. His mother had chosen not to vaccinate him, he got measles, recovered and was totally fine. During the contagious period, however, he’d spread it to this little girl and two others. So, the mother of the little girl decided to sue both the State of NY parks system and the little boy’s mother. Because apparently people in NYC feel totally safe in parks and this was a blow to their security??

I wanted to bring this up here because it was a bit ridiculous to me, but I could also understand it. First, I think suing the park system is ridiculous. (I am aware that this is a tv show!) Are they supposed to screen people before the enter? Blood tests and the whole works? But suing the mother is a bit more complicated. My first thought was that you can’t sue someone for not vaccinating her child! It infringes on their rights. But catching a dangerous disease that vaccines all but eradicated kind of infringes on your rights as well. The little girl would have lived if this mother had vaccinated her son.

I have a very firm belief that people have their own parenting styles and should be free to exercise them. If they don’t harm the children. Vaccinations are a tricky issue because some parents are vehemently opposed to them. But it could put their child at risk, and it could put my child at risk. I really do understand where people who choose not to vaccinate are coming from. I always thought Jenny McCarthy was a nutcase, but hearing her and Jim Carrey talk on this subject has definitely turned me around. Not all the way around, but I do have a better understanding of the other side. Some people feel that these vaccines can trigger autism in susceptible children (and this was proven in one court case). Others in the medical community think that the pertussis vaccine and possibly others are linked to SIDS.

One-half of 1% of kids in school are unvaccinated under a medical waiver; 2% to 3% have a nonmedical one (a lot of people are now claiming that vaccines go against their religious views so they can obtain a waiver. Many of these are legitimate claims, but many also come from parents who do not choose to vaccinate and have nothing to do with religious beliefs).

Anyway, it just is fodder for conversation - are there too many vaccines? Are they all a necessary evil? And how mad would I be if an unvaccinated kid made my baby sick? I honestly would throw all my “Parents should be allowed to raise their children as they see fit,” right out the window and be enraged. On the other hand, if a vaccine aggravated or worsened a condition (such as the little girl in Georgia whose vaccines aggravated a cell condition and giving her severe autism-like symptoms), I would be equally livid at doctors who told me they were safe.

I’ve posted a few times on vaccines, and I can see a progression in my thinking. First, I thought, yeah, giving your kids shots and medications is always risky, but it is something we all must do. Then, I read a Huffington Post blog entry by Jim Carrey and could see the other side as well. Now I’m at the point where I have no idea. I’m going to vaccinate my children. I can’t not. But I’m not as trusting. Sometimes I feel like we are guinea pigs in a pharmaceutical war.

I’d love to hear from any parent would has chosen not to vaccinate. Not to argue but to hear your side of the story. We all have our kids’ best interest at heart - it’d be nice if we could have risk-free vaccinations. Since we can’t, what are your thoughts on this issue?

Updated June 28, 2009

I found this piece on alternative vaccine schedules (ok, it was in my inbox in one of my health newsletters, but I like to take credit when I can). I’m pretty sure I’ve posted on this in the past, but here it is again for parents who would like to look into an alternative vaccine schedule. Now, this is NOT not vaccinating. It is spreading them out so the nurses don’t treat your baby like a pincushion at each visit. The little guy gets three in the leg and one oral vaccine at each visit, and it breaks my heart. Beyond that, if you’re concerned about health issues, you may want to know more about alternative schedules. And if your doctor will accommodate them. As always, it is good to know what your options are and what the medical thinking is. For that article, click here.

If you want to get riled up, both WAHM and WOHM (wtf LOL…too many acronyms!), read the following from TemporarilyMe.com. It’s about Momversations, which I will be honest and say I have never heard of. I guess I”m not a good WAHM. Anyway, here is the editorial comment that set so many moms ablaze on both sides of the work at home/work outside of home fence:

So I typically stay away from the Momversation videos because I get so riled up about things they talk about. I know that’s their goal, but I just get so frustrated and angry about them I have to stop watching; but the other day Miss Zoot made a pointed entry about a recent Momversation episode that got my Working Mom panties all bunched up. Kim’s post had me cheering, nodding, and agreeing with every point she made. Go read it – I’ll wait.

I know I may alienate some of my work-at home-mom friends by writing this, but those that are truly my friends will understand where I am coming from. I know it’s not easy being a mom. I know it’s not easy working from home. I know it’s not easy having a job that takes us from our family, but please, let’s not pretend that they’re the same thing.

Miss Zoot is a mommy blogger, writer, photographer and mother who wrote about the stress of being a WOHM. Now she didn’t negate the work of SAHM or WAHM (are we done with the acronyms yet?). She said it was a different kind of stress. Definitely. I agree 100%. I think WOHM have a lot of stress. A ton. Crazy amounts. As do SAHM. It’s just different. I don’t have to worry about my commute, because my commute involves going down the stairs. Still in my PJs. I work for someone who also works at home, so if I need an extra day for a project because my daughter has pre-school screenings, she helps me make that possible.

So I don’t have that kind of stress that WOHM do. But why argue over who has it worse? It seems a bit ridiculous. There are moms who are lazy, of course, but when moms are actively engaged either in work outside the home, or inside the home, or just focus on staying home with the kids, they are doing work. Why value one choice over another? I choose to stay home, and we give things up monetarily to make that happen. Some people absolutely need to work, and that’s what makes their families work. Some moms love their work, and that’s great too. Whatever. It’s absurd to me that people try to best each other, even comparing stress levels or who works harder.

But it’s also absurd that we feel we have to justify our choices all the time. Moms who work outside the home are sometimes made to feel guilty for “abandoning” their kids, especially if they love their jobs. Moms who stay home are made to feel bad for not working - I get that one sometimes. I ran into the teacher who supervised me during student teaching. He asked if I was teaching, and I said “No, I’m staying home with my daughter.” His response? “Why?” Like it was the weirdest thing he’d ever heard. Why? Why not? Not really your business, Mr. Student Teaching Supervisor. I have to really stop myself sometimes from saying, “I’m taking time off teaching to stay home with my daughter” because that sounds defensive and kind of belittles the work I do now - and Peanut is a way better student than any I’ve ever had. I don’t want to feel bad for my choice, and I would never make another mother feel bad about hers.

Some days, I think Peanut just popped right out of the womb talking. This kid goes on and on and on. She is also very sassy. She’s getting a bit too sassy for my liking - I don’t want an automaton for a child, but she is sometimes too willful. She also has taken a liking to hitting or pushing her brother. The Little Guy is almost eight months old, and he can do all sorts of things now. He’s crawling, pulling himself up and using furniture to “walk,” grabbing toys, and playing. He also loves to grab fistfuls of Peanut’s hair and yank. It really hurts. But she retaliates by hitting him. She sometimes pushes him for no apparent reason.

Putting Peanut in timeout does not really work for us. She can wait it out. I have no problem believing that she could sit there for hours, patiently plotting her revenge. So we started taking away one buddy each time she hit, pushed, or in anyway hurt her brother. This worked at first - these incidences decreased by quite a bit. But they picked back up when she realized that she could just wait it out and get the buddies back in a few days.

I think part of her problem is that she’s over the honeymoon stage with her brother. Since he’s more active, he’s more like a person with whom she has to share us. He takes up more time and is not just a fun doll. So part of the solution to this hitting/pushing problem for us is to make sure Peanut gets her share of attention. This can be difficult on days when you have to get projects done, clean, cook, care for the baby, and do errands. But I’ve carved out a rough schedule so I can get everything in. It’s important to remember to spend time with the older child. It’s easy to forget because at this point, Peanut is much more self-reliant. She can get herself a snack, play, go to the bathroom, get books, and entertain herself. I think maybe I take this for granted and think she doesn’t need as much from me. But she does. It’s hard for me to do things with just her during the day when her father is at work, but I can turn the focus on her even when the three of us are together. On walks, the Little Guy sits and plays in the stroller, leaving Peanut and me to talk. We chat about this and that, and she gets up and walks some of the way with me. This way, no one is neglected! It is the same when we read. The Little Guy loves books - chewing on them mostly - so he listens, and I can talk to Peanut about the story.

Another part of the hitting issue is that she’s a toddler! (Although, I think technically, I’ll have to start calling her a preschooler. This is frightening to me.) She is testing her boundaries and our reactions. This is where it is doubly important to be consistent. We tried the buddy thing for a while. It didn’t work for us. When this happens, feel free to change things up. There’s no sense doing the same thing over and over again. So we’re going to try cuing her once or giving her one warning when she hits. If she does it again, she goes up to her room. We did this last night, and it seemed to work well.

If it progresses, then we’ll make a chart. Each time she pushes or hits her brother, we’ll put a frowny face or an X or something for that day. If she gets ten or so a week, she loses Grandma Day. I’m betting it’ll only take one lost Grandma Day to fix the problem. If you do something similar, make sure to follow up! If you say that she lost a privilege, take it away. Don’t relent. If you do, this tells the kid they can behave as badly as they want all week and then make a nice, sweet face and you’ll do what they want. Don’t give in. The chart gives you something concrete to point at, and for kids, it is a symbol of authority. The chart says you lost Grandma Day. You can point to it and have a visual reminder of behavior. For instance, the other day, I told Peanut that she could have ice cream if she helped weed in the garden. She pulled a weed, then went off to play. Then she expected ice cream. I told her no. “You didn’t do the work, so you don’t get the treat.” (Which means Mommy didn’t get the treat either.) If I had said, “Ok, we’ll get ice cream,” it would have completely undermined my authority. Next time, she’d be even less likely to work.

One other good idea that my partner’s mom had. The other night, Peanut had a snack in the living room. The Little Guy reached up on the couch and took a piece of food off her plate. Her father took it from him and warned Peanut to keep her food out of reach. It happened again, so Peanut got in trouble for leaving her food where the baby could get it. Here’s the suggestion the famous Grandma gave us: Instead of just disciplining Peanut, make sure you discipline the baby where Peanut can see. We have started telling the Little Guy NO in a stern voice when he does something like play with the plants or electrical cords (in a room full of toys, these are what he goes for.) So, we could say NO, very sternly to the baby. And then deal with Peanut. It shows her we are being fair and that we don’t favor the baby. I think this will go a long way in helping her over this pushing stage.

I’ve always liked rainy days - they’re perfect for lazing in bed, reading, and then falling back to sleep. Ahhh. Unfortunately, toddlers don’t enjoy that particular type of day yet. Good for them! They want to get out and play. Today, we woke up to rain. Our second day of it with a week more to come. Peanut asked if she could go to the playground and play. I said, “Look out the door, honey. It’s raining.” Her reply: “So?” Well, jeez, you could catch a cold. Your brother could catch a cold. My God, that’s all I need, the two of them sick. But then I thought, is that really true?

And it turns out it isn’t. There is no scientific evidence to show that playing out in the rain causes colds. So says the American Lung Association, CommonCold.org, and The National Institute of Health, among others. So Grandma was wrong on that one. So what’s the real reason we don’t let our kids play in the rain? Because we don’t want to get wet! We don’t want them tracking mud onto our floors. We don’t want them to get all dirty. We don’t want to be wet and uncomfortable while we watch them play.

But kids love rain. Peanut loves puddles. We took a walk the other day and there are abundant puddles because of the melting snow. She loves to splash in them, squish through them, throw rocks into them, ride her trike in them. She’s been bugging me for an hour to take her outside. So, ok, let’s go! Let’s go play in the rain. But to make it a little more fun for mom or dad and a little less messy, maybe we can invest in some fun rain gear. I don’t advocate getting cute but useless stuff for your children. They’ll wear it once and outgrow it. But I do think if you’re going to get raincoats and boots, you might as well get fun ones. They’re all over the place now, so cost isn’t astronomical. In fact, it may be the same or less to buy fun rainboots for your toddler than the plain old yellow ones. This will make them want to wear their boots while keeping their feet dry. And when you’re done, you just dump the water out of the boots put them by the door and they’re dry the next time you want to go out. A bit less messy.
Aren’t they cute? Why not have a bit of fun? Also, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy the rain too. Get a cool umbrella, grab yourself some fun rainboots. I got some that manage to be both grownup and a bit playful. I wear them in the winter with socks, and they’ve come in handy chasing Peanut through puddles.

After a whole winter of weather that was too cold to take the baby out in, I should give them both the opportunity to play outside as much as possible. I have a friend who takes her daughter out so she’ll nap better. She calls them fresh air naps! Let kids be kids. So I’m going to get off my butt, turn off my computer, and go out in the rain.

Vaccines have become quite a hot button issue of late. Jenny McCarthy swears they caused her son to develop Autism. Recently a couple was awarded compensation from the government, which has a program to compensate families who have suffered injury due to vaccines. This is the first case in which autism has been seen as an “injury.” Apparently the little girl had an “underlying illness that had predisposed her to symptoms of autism” which were “significantly aggravated” by the vaccines she’d received as a toddler.

The little girl was outgoing and precocious for the first 18 months of her life. Then, according to her parents, she received 9 routine vaccinations and her health markedly declined. She wouldn’t eat, respond to verbal stimuli and became prone to fever and severe temper tantrums. She began to stare at lights and fans and run in circles, all signs of autism. The government conceded and her family was awarded damages.

But in another case, a special court ruled that there was no link between vaccines and autism. Many parents, though, are choosing to forgo vaccinations. I remember when Peanut was a baby; I was terrified she’d be autistic. I read articles on it, about vaccinations. At the Little Guy’s last appointment, he had one oral vaccination and three injections. He had the same course at his previous appointment as well. It’s scary as a parent, but I have to think that NOT getting vaccinated is worse. We have managed to virtually eradicate many of the dangerous childhood illnesses that used to kill children. Measles, mumps, Rubella.
Dr. Ivy Chong, program director at the Scott Center for Autism Treatment at the Florida Institute of Technology, says that more than 130 cases of measles have been diagnosed in the US since the beginning of the year. In 91% of cases, the kids had not been vaccinated. 130 may not sound like a lot, but measles are highly contagious and can cause serious complications, especially in children under five.

Dr. Martin Myers, professor of both Pediatrics and Preventive Medicine & Community Health at the University of Texas Medical Branch and author of “Do Vaccines Cause This?” believes vaccines have been linked to autism because it begins to show up at the same time children are receiving the vaccinations. Autism isn’t diagnosed until after two, when many of the shots are given.

“We give a lot of vaccines to kids, and we give them when the kids are young, often at the same time that developmental problems an be detected,” he says. “It’s hard for a parent to understand that the association is just coincidental.”

And the CDC is urging that we vaccinate our children from yet another potentially fatal disease: meningitis. This year, five children have been taken ill in Minnesota- one fatally - with the germ that causes meningitis. This is very uncommon, as the last death due to this was in 1991. Apparently, there is a shortage of the vaccine. How is this possible? Merck is the only US manufacturer who makes the vaccine. Normally children are given the shots at 2, 4, and 6 months, with boosters at 12 and 15 months. Because of the shortage, health officials often push back the boosters to make sure the babies get the primary shots. I’m not sure there is a shortage in other states, and Merck is due to begin producing the vaccine again. Without it, over 20,000 children develop meningitis each year in the US. Of the five children in Minnesota who became ill, three had parents who refused to vaccinate against meningitis.

It’s hard to know what we’re really doing to our children when we pump shot after shot into them. It kills me when I see it done to the Little Guy and Peanut. But I feel like I have to make that hard decision to keep them from getting sick from diseases that we think are gone from the US. They’re not gone, they’re not cured - they are prevented by vaccines. In 1983, kids birth through age six were given 23 doses of seven vaccines. Today, they are given 48 doses of 12 vaccines, not including the flu shot.

Are there any anti-vaccine parents out there? How did you come to make the choice you did? Do you feel you’re doing what’s best for your children and the children in your community?

Here’s a chart of the vaccines that the CDC recommends that children receive:

That came out a bit small to read. To see a full size one, click here.

Yesterday I went to lunch with Peanut and reminded myself to write a post about table manners. Peanut is a sweet girl, but sometimes her public manners need a little work. She tends to stand up on the chairs or wiggle around a lot when she eats. She has so much energy that it’s hard for her to sit still long enough to eat - is that a great excuse or what? I’m sure millions of moms say the same thing, but it’s not going to a good enough excuse when she’s in school and can’t sit down and listen to the teacher. So, first step sitting down at the table. We’ll worry about school later!

The thing that is important to me to emphasize is that meal times are about the whole family…it’s not the Peanut Show every minute of every day. We’re pretty kid-centric here but enough is enough. So when Peanut is jumping up and singing “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid at the top of her lungs, it is keeping her father and I, and everyone else if we are out at a restaurant, from enjoying their dinner.

Another thing is to focus on acceptable behavior and model it. Say Please and Thank You and give your child praise when he follows the rules. Don’t overpraise though. A simple smile and nod is more than adequate. First because you don’t want to make the focus all about them, and second, this is something they should be doing. You may have to cue them to say Please and Thank You but eventually they’ll get it.

FamilyFun.com has an article on table manners and includes a list of “Nevers.” Here’s the list:
Never…
* Begin eating until everyone has been served.
* Lick the knife! Sharp objects should never be put in the mouth, not to mention that Band-Aids don’t do well on the tongue.
* Lean back on a chair’s hind legs.
* Speak with food in his mouth.
* Chew with her mouth open. In addition, don’t chew noisily.
* Put more in his mouth than he can chew. Small bites should be encouraged. In addition, food should never be shoveled.
* Interrupt others when they are talking.
* Point utensils at others.
* Leave the chair out when he gets up. It should always be pushed in when he steps away from the table.
* Take the last bit of food without first offering it to others at the table.
* Talk about gross or gossipy subjects.
* Get up until everyone else is finished eating.
* Put elbows on the table. After all, Mae West once said, “Keep all uncooked joints off the table.”

Safety things are a must - like licking the knife. That’s a nightmare in the making. Other things like not eating until everyone is served or remembering to push in the chair when you’re done are nice to know, but I think we prioritize our list. If Peanut digs into her food before me, fine. She can refine her social graces as she gets older. For toddlers, I think it’s more important that they don’t yell, scream, or bug other people. Peanut also likes to look at other people’s food (strangers, that is) and comment. Rude! So, before we learn which fork is the salad fork and which is the entree fork, we should learn more basic things. The rest will come later. And again, teaching these things to your child is a lot about modeling the behavior. Peanut sees her grandmother put a napkin on her lap when she eats, so Peanut does it sometimes too.

And if they engage in behavior that is inappropriate or downright embarrassing? I have to tell you something: it’s kind of gross. Peanut, lately, has been saying, “Do you wanna hear something?” She’ll then turn her little rear towards you and fart. Yes, she’s a ten year old boy stuck in a three year old girl’s body. You’d never believe this adorable little girl is so foul. So when she did that yesterday at lunch, that was my 450th sign that we needed to work on table manners. I ignored her. When I do this, she’ll usually say “Excuse me,” and move on. Other little tricks: some toddlers spit out their food. Can you believe it? If your little darling does this, try wiping his face every time he spits. Little kids do not like that! They’ll stop spitting soon. Or if they’re using their utensils inappropriately, take them away for a while as warning #1. They don’t get warning #2 - you just take them away for good.

Dr. Sears, who is my favorite parenting expert, has some great advice for toddlers and table manners. Here’s a sample:
Use utensils to distract. Our daughter, Erin, used to windmill her arms during feeding, causing food to fly everywhere. Our solution? We put a plastic spoon into each of her hands to occupy her while we fed her with a third spoon. You can also try placing toys with suction cups on the highchair tray and letting the child play with them while she’s fed. And of course, there is the tried-and-true spoon-airplane trick — food will land safely into baby’s eager mouth while keeping her entertained.

I do this with the Little Guy! You can read the rest of Dr. Sears’s advice at the above link.

What are strategies you use to control your little one at the table? Do you enjoy mealtimes together?

Oh, also, there’s a story on a subject for parents with babies as well as toddlers. BPA, a chemical found in many plastic products, can have health consequences. I searched high and low for good BPA-free bottles for the Little Guy, and it is always good to use BPA-free plastics for toddlers and yourself of course. You can read more about steps being taken to eliminate BPA in products we use for out little ones at ReviewingBabyGear.com.

Sunday, we had a great snowstorm. It snowed at least a foot, maybe closer to two. When Peanut goes out the door and walks on the sidewalk, I can’t see her because of the snowbanks. It’s insane. Anyway, Peanut refuses to be crushed by winter. We went outside to play yesterday, and she had a blast. My favorite thing was throwing her in the snowbanks. At first, I sort of lifted her and placed her in them. But after awhile, I just threw her. It’s like throwing someone in water. She loved it. These snowbanks were four feet high or more, so there was no way she’d hit the ground. So we had fun, even in the cold, long winter.

That evening, we did something new. Remember, that’s one way to keep from going insane with a toddler. Try new things! We played Go Fish. I bought some cards for just over $2. They have a letter and an animal on each card. Something else that I liked was that you have to match the capital with the lower case. Peanut doesn’t always recognize A and a as the same letter, for example, and this helps. Making it easier for younger toddlers is the animals. The capital has a “mama” animal, and the lower case has the baby. It’s a good visual way to learn letters. I thought Peanut needed some reinforcement because she’s been getting a little lazy about her letters.

She did a great job even though this was her first time with an organized games. She even did really well when her father won. Peanut and I played together because she doesn’t get that she’s supposed to keep her cards hidden. And that she has to wait her turn to go fishing. And that she can’t keep picking until she gets what she wants. Overall, though, she was great, and it was a new thing that helped pass the winter evening.

Here are two links that you may find helpful. The first one is game suggestions for older toddlers and are great for children who can’t read yet. This one is for Snail’s Pace Race, which is a game that younger toddlers can play. It also has tips for making your own board game - excellent! Younger toddlers can also play Memory or Hi Ho Cherry-O.

Does your toddler’s closet like this this?
Or like this…?

The second one is clearly in the home of overachievers with nannies and who have already instilled the fear of mess into their children. While Peanut’s closet doesn’t quite look like the first picture, I can definitely sympathize. It is hard to organize children’s clothes. I was going nuts this summer because I had to make room for the Little Guy’s things in Peanut’s closet - hopefully a house with three bedrooms is in our future! But for now, we will make due with two. Anyway, I had to figure out how to organize baby clothes and toddler clothes. I tried a system that is shown in the following picture:

The hanging organizer with sections looks like a great way to separate clothes and keep them tidy. The problem that we ran into was that it quickly got messy. Everything got jumbled. I am a huge proponent of Peanut doing things for herself, and everything got all bunched up, and it was hard to get what we wanted on a given day.

You want to know what works really well for us? I have three baskets in Peanut’s closet, and a little basket on her bookshelf. In one basket goes sweaters, in another goes shirts, and the last goes pants. In the little basket is underwear and socks. When I do laundry, I have Peanut help me put it away and it takes seconds. We just throw them in the baskets. This does a few things: laundry is much quicker. Peanut can help me put it away. I just have to tell her to go get an outfit to wear, and she can do it quickly and easily. It actually stays really organized. Toddler clothes are great because most of them do not show wrinkles or look any worse for the wear of being thrown in a basket. I can always hang up her dresses and nicer clothes on hangers. There, done. It’s easy. It won’t appear in any magazine, but it really works well for us. I do the same thing with the Little Guy’s clothes. One basket for pjs and one for separates. I am way too busy to spend much more time than that on clothing!

Another thing that is hard to organize is TOYS. As parents of toddlers, we all have a billion of them in our homes. If you have more than one child, forget about it. I’m surprised there is room for us between Peanut’s stuffed animals and the baby’s chew toys. Again, the Little Guy is pretty easy. Up in their room, I have a basket of his toys. This basket fits perfectly under his crib so it’s out of the way. If we’re playing up there and want a toy, it’s right there. Out of sight yet easy to access. Peanut presents more of a challenge because she has a ton of stuff. Her grandparents used to send her home with a new buddy every week. That got a bit out of control.

So the first issue is stuffed animals. She insists on having ALL OF THEM on her bed. Yes, all of them. I tried putting them in her brother’s crib (he doesn’t sleep there yet!) so she could still get at them but have room on her bed to sleep. Nope, she would have none of that. So I’m not sure how I’d organize them. We sort of have our answer to that. I did go through and clean them out. I grabbed ten or twenty and put them in bags in the closet. She never missed them. Once, I took them out and she saw them (darn it!) and it was like Christmas. I know some people have those little hammocks that can hang in the corner that work pretty well.

As for the rest of her toys: I kind of categorize them. She has her kitchen stuff. Her pots and pans and food are all in her kitchen. That is pretty easy to control because it makes sense that that is where those things go. I have a clear plastic tub for her art stuff and a basket for her miscellaneous toys. Both of these fit on a bookshelf so it tidies the room a bit more. She has a tub for her little animals - that need to be out of the way because of the Little Guy. She has a shelf that is built into our entertainment center for her books, and that pretty much does it.

I think that the biggest thing is to have a system that works for your family. If you have a beautifully organized shelf of toys with everything in its place and a neatly lined bookshelf, you are going to be the one that has to keep it that way. Toddlers are not ready for that. They throw books back onto shelves, they mix plastic puppies with crayons. Anything goes. So you need to find a system in which the toddler is the one who takes responsibility. When Peanut destroys the living room, I need to be able to say to her, “Clean up time.” And she needs a system that she understands and that she can handle. I can always modify it as she grows older. Right now, though, independence is key. Also, I have things to do! I can’t spend my day making her toys look nice. You have to deal with a certain amount of mess with a toddler but also teaching them how to clean it up themselves is essential.

What works for you? Do you have special shelves, baskets, or containers? Do you embrace chaos or demand tidiness? How much does your toddler do to help putting away clothes or toys?

Here’s a link for a post on organizing your child’s room frugally. I’m all for that! If I don’t have to buy an $80 shelf, I’m happy!

Check out 451Press’s other great parenting blogs…they’re great if you have kids and teens too. We cover all the bases here!

I love sleep. It is in my top five of favorite things to do. Having a baby kind of ruins this though! The Little Guy is slowly getting better at sleeping. Many mornings, he’s out cold at around seven or seven-thirty. I can lie in bed and just sort of relax. Until Peanut comes tripping in, asking me to go downstairs and play. “Just another minute, please.” I’m lucky because usually Peanut will either lie down in bed with me or she’ll go play in her room for a little while. Those extra minutes mean a lot.

Sometimes, your toddler may get up way earlier than you are ready for or earlier than they need to be up. Remember, toddlers need at least twelve hours of sleep per day to function properly - and also to act like human beings instead of temper tantrum machines.

There are some different things you can try to get your toddler to sleep a little longer in the mornings - or get used to a night/day schedule. This is good because many children have to get up and go to daycare or the babysitter, and soon, it’ll be time for preschool when you need to be somewhere on time.

The first thing you can do is lock your child up and only let them out when you’re ready. No, just kidding! Please don’t do that. How about a cute alarm clock instead? There is one called the KidSleep Toddler Clock that will help your child know when it is time to get up even before he/she can tell time.

The Kidsleep has two images - one a daytime bunny and one a nighttime bunny. You program in the time you want your child to wake up at or stay in bed until. When the bunny is asleep, it’s sleepy time. When it’s awake, it’s time to get up. According to the KidSleep website:

Through gentle reinforcement, praise and encouragement the vast majority of children will be getting into a better sleep pattern within a week meaning more sleep for mum and dad and hopefully a vastly improved quality of life.

You may have noticed the word “mum.” This is an English product, and I don’t know if it’s available in the US. Of course, you can by anything online, and this is for sale for 35 pounds. I just found a similar one by KidSleep on Ebay. It has a rabbit face on the clock, and at night, the rabbit’s eyes are closed and his ears are down. During the day, his eyes and ears are up and ready for action This is cute too, and a bit over $18.

If you’re a cheapo - or frugal - you can do this with any kind of clock. If you have a digital alarm clock, you can tell your child to look at it. If it reads 7:00 (or whatever), then they can get up. If they don’t know what 7:00 looks like, you can write it on an index card and tape it to the wall by the clock. I’ve heard that this really works, and you don’t have to spend any money. Always good. You could also take a regular clock with hands (an analogue clock), and use a marker to draw an arrow or something to the time when you’re child can get up. On second thought, that might be a little hard for a toddler to read, but you could always give it a try.

Another good idea is to get a nightlight that is on a timer. You program in the time you want your child to be up. The nightlight shuts off at that time. Your child has an easy visual to help them stay in bed until the proper time. (Speaking of nightlights, here’s a post on the Tykelight. We just had to get a new nightlight for Peanut.)

Something else to try is to determine if your child is getting enough sleep. If she goes to bed at seven and wakes up at five or six, and also takes a nap during the day, she should be getting up at five! She’s slept enough. We usually put Peanut to bed at 8:30 - 9:00. She sleeps until about 7:00 or 7:30. Then she has a two hour nap during the day. That’s twelve total hours, and she gets plenty of sleep to function - and be nice. If you’re putting your toddler to bed at seven, but want her to sleep until seven, try putting her to bed a bit later, especially if she takes a nap during the day.

On the other hand, some kids stay up too late, and that causes them to be sleep-deprived. They will actually wake up too early instead of sleeping in. I’ve noticed that on special occasions, like when we’re visiting family, when Peanut goes to bed at 10:00 or 11:00, she’ll still get up at 7:00 or 8:00. It’s not like she’s a teenager who sleeps until noon. So going to bed late can cause early rising. Look at your toddlers patterns and determine if you need to adjust bedtimes. Sometimes you need a little more time in the morning to get ready or grab some Zs and it’s helpful if your child is sleeping. Also, they need to sleep! A lot.

Honestly, I would never have thought to get Peanut a special alarm clock or a time programmed nightlight. I think I’d have better luck with a preset coffee maker in her room. Anyway, something that works for us is to say “Go back to bed.” Old fashioned parenting; no programming required. Sometimes I’ll send Peanut up for a nap, and she’ll come down a half hour later. I know that she hasn’t slept, so I send her back up. Usually, she just goes. Even if she has a fit - that’s what toddlers do. Send them anyway. They’ll go. They need the sleep. It’s not like you’re being mean to them. It’s nice to have a few morning minutes to yourself, but it’s also essential that your toddler gets sleep. I do think the alarm clocks are a great idea for toddlers that get up and want to play at 4:00 or 5:00. Especially on your day off! And remember that you should do what is best for your whole family. If having a toddler up and starting her day at 5:00 is disruptive to your other children and to you and your partner, then it needs to be remedied. I am a huge fan of sleep for the whole family.

Does anyone have this problem? What has worked for you and your family?

I’m serious! Would you like to see your toddler on television teaching other toddlers how to do things? Check out the tv show that is going to be airing on Sprout this spring - coming weekends on the popular toddler channel from PBS is The Sharing Show!

The Sharing Show is a show that shows toddlers doing their favorite things. For instance, if your two year old daughter loves to help you bake cupcakes in the kitchen, grab a video camera and get it on tape! Mail it into the company and they may show your toddler on tv! As of now, VHS, DVD, or MiniDV has to be into the company by March 3, so go grab a video camera and start recording!

I have to admit, I have Sprout through DirecTV but I haven’t watched it yet! We just got it a few months ago when we changed or package and the kids were pretty set in their tv shows already, but now that I know about this program I’m going to make the time to check out more about the programming. I do know that the website has lots of fun stuff for your toddler to do, from games to activities.

You can find more, including the signed release that you have to send with the tape, here.

Why is it that parents are always overscheduling their children? I know of a woman who has her son (who is in elementary school) in every afterschool program available, keeping him busy until 5 p.m. every night, and then into Tae Kwon Do two nights a week. Her toddler is in daycare while she works, and then has a gymboree class on the nights that her brother doesn’t have Tae Kwon Do. These guys are constantly running around, and every time I talk to her older child he says how tired he is.

How come parents believe that their children have to have some activity to fill up their every waking moment? Children do not necessarily need something to do every day! They need quality time to spend with their parents, as well as with their siblings. Toddlers especially need a lot of sleep and a lot of cuddle time. If a toddler, or any child for that matter, spends too much time on other activities, they will be tired, cranky, and may have behavioral problems.

Is it alright to put your toddler in an activity or two? Absolutely - but if they have more activities scheduled than they do cuddle and chill-out time, you might want to rethink your schedule a bit.

This evening the hubby and I have to head to the tax mans in order to pay our dues to the federal government once again. The only problem is that we’re going to a new tax man because I have NO idea how to do my own taxes now that I’m a freelance writer. This means that the kiddos are not coming with us. So where are they going?

Yup, Grandma and Grampa’s house. I’m one of those parents who believes that it is vital that your child interacts with your close friends and family. I don’t, however, believe that it is a good thing for your parents to be parents to your children. After all, they have earned the right to have their own lives. I do think, though, that it is good for your toddler to spend some time with Grammy and Grampa now and again. Usually my mother sees the kids once every couple of weeks and every three or four months or so they spend a night. I’d like it to be more, but it just hasn’t happened yet.

Tonight, though, Grammy is taking them for supper! She loves to feed them, and so it works out perfectly. They get to have a mid-week (or almost mid-week) treat, and we get to know that they’re having fun and getting a bit spoiled with Gram and Grampa while we are getting our taxes done. And I may just slide over to the store while they’re busy and grab a few little Valentine’s treats…more on Valentine’s day tomorrow!

A little mid-week treat for all of us!

I’m so sorry!! I had this HUGE post set to go about moving into a new home and tricks to try with your toddler, and then the entire site crashed, and I’ve had problems getting it working since then!

BUT! We’re back, and we’re good to go! I will have a post every day from now on (barring emergencies, illness, and stupid internet crashing).

Anyway, my topic for today? Renting toys.

What, you think I’m crazy?

Well, they don’t think I’m so crazy over at Baby Plays!

Baby Plays is a new website that is sort of like Netflix for toys - you sign up to receive a few toys a month. When the month is over, you send the toy back and get new toys that are on your list. It is not only a way to keep the toys fresh, but it’s a way to experience new toys without having to buy them. After all, what’s worse than buying a new toy for your child and having them hate it? This way you can rent a toy and they can play with it for as long as they want (you don’t have to send it back after 30 days - you can keep it as long as you’d like), and you will know if they love it or not. If you find that they play with it almost every day, you can send it back and buy your own.

I like the idea behind Baby Plays, but I’m not quite sure if I’d rent toys from them or not. I don’t even have Netflix because I really don’t quite get it. I mean, I get it, but I don’t know if it will truly save me money or not. My daughter is old enough now that most of the toys they have for rent I’m not sure if she’d really play with. I think this would be a great site for parents of children between 0-3, but older than that? I’m not sure. What do you think about renting toys?

Hi! My name is Randi and I’ll be your guide through the formative, yet crazy world that is Toddlerville! So, let’s see, what makes me qualified to run Parenting Toddlers? Well, I’m 28 and have two beautiful children (I count three children on the days that my husband’s being whiney). Toad is now 7 and Babygirl is 3. So, technically, I guess my daughter is on the outside edge of toddler-hood. I love talking about toddlers, however, and being a licensed foster parent means that I never know when I’ll have another one in my home.

We live in Vermont (read: Hickville), and my husband works in a furniture factory. I’m a stay-at-home-mom and full-time freelance writer. My mother works at a special school for children who have “issues” (both emotional and developmental), and I help them out by taking children who are considered to be OCS - I’m still not sure what the letters mean, but basically these are kids that have acted up and have to be out of the school for the day.

So what can you expect from this blog? While it’s under my reign, you can expect my thoughts on discipline, food (I have one of the fussiest kids…), naps, toys, and everything that has to do with raising a toddler and a family, because any toddler is highly impacted by the type of family life they have.

So welcome to Parenting Toddlers, and I hope that you’ll know if you have any questions that I’d love to answer them! Just leave a message in the comments…