Parenting Toddlers

The other night, Peanut hopped up on my bed and lay down beside me. She leaned on my butt and said, “Mom, you have the biggest butt in the whole world! I’m going to sleep on it!” She thought it’d be comfy. I’d like to just add at this point that my butt is not the biggest one in the world. I said, “Oh yeah? Bigger than Dad’s?” (Which I know it is NOT!). “Yup, bigger than everyone’s.” So.

I told my friend about this and she said, “It sounds like she’s got body issues already. Three is way to young for that.” I agree that three is too young to be comparing my butt to everyone else’s in the world. I don’t think Peanut has body image problems though. She thinks she’s the best thing ever - she thinks she’s the smartest, prettiest little girl. I think her self-esteem is fine. What she is doing, however, is mimicking mom. I realize that my little parrot has no idea what “big butt” or “fat” really means. I asked her once and she really doesn’t know. She doesn’t ever call people fat or anything. She’s repeating me. I know this for sure because she stood in front the mirror, turned to the side, and said, “Do I look fat?” Could’ve sworn that my voice came from her mouth!

I want Peanut and her brother to be healthy and happy. I have always struggled with my weight, and having a baby didn’t help one bit! I try to set a good example by going for walks with the kids - Peanut walks some of the way, and by working out. Peanut joins me now and then. Plus, she runs around outside, rides her trike, etc. She’s very active. She also happens to be petite. All of my sisters - in fact, all of the women on my side of the family - are small. I don’t know where I came from. Her brother, on the other hand, is a big guy. He, too, is very active. He crawls around, picks himself up, moves along the couch, and does other baby-exercise things. But the fact is that he will probably be a large person. I don’t want Peanut or him to feel badly about their bodies. So that means that I have to come to some sort of acceptance with my own.

I model good exercise habits and have apples and carrots for snacks. What I really need to work on is not saying mean things to myself. First, it doesn’t do me any good. And second, I think it’ll damage my children. They’ll grow up thinking that their weight is the only thing about them. It’s bad enough that I do this, I don’t want them to. What I’d like them to think is that they are great people regardless of their appearance - or no, that they’re great people and beautiful even if their beauty is not stick-thin. I also want them to know that their bodies should be healthy so they can do the things they want to. I read an article today about a study on body image. A great majority of women do not like their bodies. But the reason is how they look, not how they feel or their health. So they’d rather be skinny and not necessarily healthy than a bit thicker and more healthy. I believe that you can be a bigger person and be healthy. I exercise, try to watch what I eat, have great blood pressure, a healthy heart…but I carry more pounds. I’m trying to take them off, but focusing on health is a well, healthier, way to think.

I talked to Peanut about this, and we’re working on saying nice things to ourselves, about ourselves, and to each other. This is one of those areas where I sort of slide. I make sure they eat healthy food, brush their teeth, stay safe, and all the big things, but this is something that also can have a big impact on their lives. So, a reminder to myself to be nicer to me so my kids will be nicer to themselves.