Parenting Toddlers

My kids are irritating me. They are really both getting on my last nerve. The baby kept ramming into me with his wheely walker chair thing while I was trying to exercise, and Peanut got every bit of extra crap in the living room and built a puppy house, which looks like a huge pile of extra crap from the living room. Earlier, Peanut was quietly watching My Little Pony (I can watch almost any PBS cartoon; I’m used to toddler entertainment. But I cannot deal with My Little Pony). I stepped into the kitchen for a second and came back to find the Little Guy chewing on my laptop, which should have been out of his reach except that he now climbs. Peanut does nothing but talk, and talk, and talk. This is a trait that I have always admired in people because I am a non-talker. But I find myself feeling far less admiration than irritation.

So, moms and dads, you may pretend to the world otherwise, but I know that I’m not the only one. I know your children irritate the living daylight out of you too. Whether you work or stay home, your kids are bound to get on your nerves at times. So what do we do? Especially when we’re at home with them, alone, and we’ve been imposing on the Ultimate Babysitter, Grandma, too much lately? Here’s what works for me:

* Going for walks. This does not quiet Peanut, but at least the Little Guy mellows out. Put him in the stroller with something to chew on, and he’s good. Peanut either walks with me or rides, chattering the whole time. But they’re calmer. And if they’re good, we stop by Grandma’s on our way home (which is conveniently located on our walking route).

* Going to the bathroom. If the kids are occupied and safe (in cribs, car seats, or whatever), just escaping for a minute can be sufficient to get your head together. Close the door, though, because they will follow you.

* Bathe. For my kids, baths are like sedatives. They play, they splash, and they have fun. After, they’re pretty cuddly. While you do have to actively take part, it is a little bit of a break in that they’re typically much less irritating around water. Also, if the toddler is occupied and safe, take a quick shower. Your toddler can even sit in the bathroom and color or look at a book while you take an exceedingly hot shower. Water makes everyone feel better.

* Take them out in public. It is somehow easier to deal with your children when there are other people around. Go to the library or the park or the store. Just get out of the house.

* Make sacred time. Exercise is my sacred time. I do things all day for the kids, in turn, I make them give me 45-60 minutes. This doesn’t always work out, like today with the wheely chair, but I usually time it right with the baby’s nap, and Peanut plays or exercises with me.

* Do something for you that you can do with your kids present. I love to read, but I seldom have a lot of time. My doctor told me to do things I enjoy; she ordered me to buy some books and sit and read. The kids will be fine playing. And you know what? It’s true. I can read a chapter or two while the Little Guy plays and Peanut looks at her books. I think everyone should have some quiet, independent time. I don’t want kids who need constant stimulation. They should learn to entertain themselves for a bit.

*Meditate. If they take naps, grab ten minutes to meditate. Light a candle, focus your thoughts on that point of light, and just try not to worry about anything for those ten minutes. Meditation relaxes and refreshes you. I am a hyper-worrier. You know the cliche about worrying that you have nothing to worry about? It’s the truth. So meditation is hard for me, but luckily it’s the practicing that counts. So give it a try.

*Run them. When Peanut is acting like a freak, we go outside. She runs. And runs. She runs herself tired and is more mellow. It gets her energy out. Last week, it rained the entire week. So, I’d keep the Little Guy on the porch, and send Peanut down the sidewalk of our apartment complex (no roads, so it’s safe). She’d run back and forth to get that pent-up energy out. Then she’s focused for inside playing.
Tire those kids out.

*Take a break away from them if you can. I’m lucky because my partner and I schedule days off. Tomorrow is mine, and I can do whatever I want sans kids. This is really essential because you need time to do things, even errands or chores or work, without worrying about the children. If you are a single parent, maybe you could have a relative or friend watch the kids for a big chunk of a day, if not a whole day. An hour or two is great, but if you can get more, take it. You need it. And it makes you a better parent, less likely to snap at your kids. Do something you love, take a nap, read, watch bad, guilty-pleasure tv, exercise. Do something for you. It’s really really important.

What do you do to relieve some toddler/child stress? I’m going for a walk now!