Parenting Toddlers

Priorities

I am a huge fan of frugality; and it is no different when it comes to my children. Replacing toys and clothing and shoes can be extremely expensive, so making smart purchases is essential for any parent, especially those with toddlers. Peanut has a few more expensive toys - like her play kitchen and her LeapFrog ClickStart game. For the most part, though, she is really happy with toys that are very cheap to buy. “Cheap” sounds bad - inexpensive then. Whatever word you choose, saving money is always welcome. In our current times, being frugal can mean the difference between giving your children great toys and having them go without. If your budget is tight, you can still provide a few fun things for your toddlers. I never advocate choosing toys over necessities; I would never do that because I think having heat is more important than a few toys. That being said, toys are an important part of childhood. So the compromise is to get things that your child can use for a long time, have fun with, learn from, and that won’t cost you a ton of money. They are out there, you just have to look and scoop up deals.

Here are some things that Peanut has that didn’t cost us anything but that have gotten a lot of use:

* Amazing Creatures. This is a Nature Challenge book with awesome photos of different animals. The one we have is divided into Jaws and Claws, Eyes, Colors, and Defenses. There are a bunch of different animals with interesting facts. Peanut likes to look through it with me and learn about the animals. You can either read all the text or do what we do and pick out a different interesting fact each time. This way we learn something new each time. She can read it with me or look at the pictures on her own. It is a great, interesting book. And Peanut’s grandmother got it at a dollar store (Job Lots) for $2.99. This is an incredible deal for a full color book, especially with the use we get out of it. You can check out the book selection next time you go to the Family Dollar, Dollar General, or other stores like that. They often have better toddler and kid books, and you may find a treasure for a few bucks.

* Magnet writing board. Peanut got one of these at a discount store, and it has been a favorite ever since. It’s a generic brand Magna Doodle, and it’s perfect for practicing letters. She’s been learning more and more, as well as drawing pictures. When she’s done, she just erases it and does some more. This saves us an enormous amount of paper - especially since some toddlers like to draw one thing and then use a new piece of paper (I’m not naming any names though). One drawback is that it’s a bit small so she has a hard time writing MOM on it. Other than that, it is awesome. It cost a whopping $3.00 for all that learning and fun.

*Pretend food. You can get a set for pretty cheap with veggies, fruits, rolls, and other foods. This will provide hours of fun, with or without a play kitchen. Your child can use a real pot or some plastic spoons. Peanut loves to make us food.

* Construction paper and pipecleaners. I went to a drug store to buy some of these essentials, and the prices were outrageous. I couldn’t believe it! I guess I hadn’t bought construction paper since 1990 or something. It was over $5 for a pack of like 20 pieces - and she’d go through that so quickly. I didn’t buy them there, but I did check out a dollar store. Great, from $5 to $1 for far more pieces! And enough pipe cleaners for lots of crafts for $1. You can also get kid safety scissors, glue, and other supplies very inexpensively. This is a must because toddlers use this stuff up so fast. Crafts are great, but you shouldn’t have to spend a great deal of money. And with these supplies, you can make more fun toys. Peanut likes to take empty toilet paper rolls and use them as telescopes. For you crafty overachievers, you can decorate it, maybe make an eye patch too.

* Random things. Peanut loves random things and can turn them into toys. Her father has a wooden back scratcher that he got for $1. She pretends it’s a sword or a vacuum. She uses my knitting needles to make letters. She uses blankets and pillows to make forts, bury herself, play hide and seek with Bo, and whatever else she can think of. Little kids are so creative. I used to watch my neighbor’s son, and he liked to play with my vegetable steamer. He pretended it was a space ship and other fun things. Cool. Except he took it home with him and I couldn’t steam my veggies.

I couldn’t talk about toys without mentioning Bo. I asked Peanut what her favorite toy was - Bo of course. He probably cost about $8 brand new (but we got him second hand from a friend). Peanut can find any number of things to do with Bo. Right now, she’s entertaining her brother by swinging the nasty old dog around. He’s hysterical…he’ll probably want his very own Bo in a few months. Bo plays hide and seek, goes on trike rides, plays on the swings, and plays Lion King with her (I have to help with that one).

Having a great childhood is not about money. Don’t feel bad if you can’t spend a lot on toys. You don’t need to. Encourage creativity, find great deals, make your own toys, and imagine. What kinds of toys does your child love? What is your toy budget like - do you give up other things to buy toys for your children? (A lot of people do this, which is why the toy industry is usually one of the last effected by recessions.) Let me know!

Here’s a link for classic toys under $10 (like Mr. Potato Head). Also, Erinn at Parenting Children has a post about kids’ board games (which you can also pick up for $10).

I recently set up a Facebook account and spend all sorts of time when I could be working playing there. One fun thing was to write 25 Random Things About Me. Guess how many were about Peanut and the Little Guy? Anyway, it inspired me to write a list of things I love about Peanut and toddlerhood. So, in no particular order, here is my list:

1. I love that she’s so sassy. I hope she is like this forever! She knows her mind and speaks it.
2. She’s hilarious.
3. She’s smart. She is learning the sounds the letters make and can write “Bo,” (of course), “Mom,” “Dad,” and her own name. She is also very sarcastic, which takes a certain amount of intelligence.
4. She is caring. She gives me hugs and kisses just when I need them.
5. She can always make her brother laugh.
6. She is very protective of the Little Guy.
7. She is beautiful. I’m partial, I know.
8. Peanut loves kale and green beans.
9. She can wear the same size clothing forever. It makes our clothing budget much less! Her brother on the other hand grows out of stuff every day.
10. She never bugs me for toys when we go to the store. If she’s good, she gets a treat. Which is usually a 25 cent granola bar.
11. She melts my heart. I say I love you to her at night. The first time she said it back made me so happy. She actually said “I you,” which made it that much cuter.
12. She loves her family - and she says her aunt’s boyfriend is in fact her boyfriend.
13. She plays very well by herself, which gives me time to feed/change/rock the baby.
14. She listens. Sometimes we have to tell her more than once, but overall, she’s very good.
15. She gets excited about little things, like going to the beach or going to Grandma’s.
16. She mispronounces words that are so cute - like “excigid,” for excited. She used to call the living room the “alumin.”
17. She’s a great sleeper. She’s always been a great sleeper, and I appreciate this.
18. She loves to read and has a stack of books by her bed that she looks at after I read to her.
19. She’s nice to other kids.
20. She’s outgoing. I’m so shy; it’s nice to have an extroverted kid.
21. She’s pretty reasonable for a three year old.
22. She takes a nap everyday. Hallelujah!
23. She made me a mom. She’ll always be my baby. But when I say this, she says, “I’m a kid.” Some of the most terrifying, extreme, awesome feelings I’ve ever had have to do with her.
24. She’s very independent. But she still needs her mama.
25. She’s her. She has a great big personality and is full of life. She’s crazy and vibrant.

I could go on and on - don’t you just love to hear parents brag about their kids? Fun huh? What about your toddler makes your heart melt? What makes you glad that you have a child, despite not sleeping for 18 years, and then worrying for the next several decades? Despite not having time or money for yourself? Despite all the million ways you are forced beyond yourself?

In the post about Nanny Jo, I described an episode of Super Nanny in which the children were still having an evening bottle and wearing diapers to bed. They were almost three and five years old. Anyway, one of the things that Nanny Jo did was to tell the children that the Nappy Pirates were coming. There was a big chest that was painted with pirates wearing diaper hats. She said that if the kids put all their diapers in the chest, then the pirates would come and take them during the night and leave them something in the chest.

So the kids were really excited, collected all their nappies and put them in. The next morning it was like Christmas. They were so eager to see what the Nappy Pirates had left them. It turned out to be some cool pjs.

I thought this was such a clever way to break a child’s bond with something like a diaper. They were giving something up, but they were also getting a surprise too. This can work for any number of things that you need your child to transition away from: bottles, pacifiers, diapers, or any other remnants of babyhood that they are still clinging to and need to move away from. If pirates are a little scary for your toddler, you can say the Pacifier Fairy is coming or the Bottle Fairy. Then make sure to get them a little something that they’ll love.

Give this a try if you need to wean your toddler away from pacifiers, bottles, diapers, or even baby food.

Super Nanny has a site on ABC that you can go to catch up on the show or to get some parenting tips from the nannies. Click here for that site. You can also check out 451’s other parenting blogs for great tips and topics related to a range of parenting topics.

The appeal of Super Nanny for me is that it makes me feel like a great mom…my little angels would never act like the monsters on that show, I think smugly. Then, Peanut usually throws a tantrum or spills something on the carpet for the tenth time, and I feel a little ridiculous for thinking myself better than anyone else.

I watched Super Nanny last night - I don’t usually watch it but I was flipping through the channels and landed on it. The show featured Nanny Jo helping a family with not one but TWO sets of twins. The eldest set was four and the younger two and a half. Oh my goodness…I have nightmares that aren’t that scary. I cannot imagine. I don’t want to imagine. Anyway, the problems had to do with discipline and eating, mainly. Everyone was fighting and getting away with it, pinching mom and everything. At dinner, the younger twins refused to eat real food. Their parents would puree whatever dinner was and force feed it to the younger children. When that turned into a losing battle - as it inevitably did - they resorted to jarred baby food. For children who were almost three.

I remember thinking: wow, I’d go nuts. Peanut can go to the fridge and get herself an apple or a carrot. She can wash it in the sink by pulling a chair up. Anyway, at night, all of the children got a bottle. The four year olds included. At bedtime, a diaper (or nappy) went on all of the children. The four year olds included. When the poor mom tried to take them all for a walk, it was just an exhausting experience.

I knew immediately that I wanted to write a post on this, and I planned what I’d write in my head. I’d criticize the parents parenting and write how it should be done, how I myself would handle those children. How I’d wean them and make meals times much smoother. And then, I realized something. It is very easy to tell people what they should do. This is part of what makes Super Nanny such a fun, infuriating show to watch - you can be the expert and feel superior to the people struggling with their children. So I decided not to be that person, that person who judges. It is not up to me to criticize anyone, not when there are a a million things I could do better myself.

When it comes down to it, no one else is your child’s parents. They can give you advice, they can tell you what works for them, they can show you how it worked with their children - but they aren’t the ones in your home with your children. It is hard to be a parent, and it is even harder when you feel like people are judging you. I think I’m rambling here: my point is twofold.

One - if you are a parent who is struggling with your children, ask for help. You don’t have to go on Super Nanny, but you can ask trusted friends and relatives for suggestions. If you don’t have anyone you feel understands you, go to the library, go online, research different techniques, tailor them to fit your kids, and try them. If they don’t work and you’ve given them a chance, try something else.

And two: if you are a parent and you see a friend or family member struggling with their kids, do not jump in and give unsolicited advice. It probably will not be taken, and you will anger and alienate someone who needs all the support she/he can get. It is so so tempting to give your two cents - and you do it with the best intentions, but this is thin ice you’re skating on. Obviously, if you see parents abusing their kids or doing something unhealthy (like smoking in the same house or something like that), you should step in, but otherwise, unless you’re asked, it might be best to stay out of it. Or you could broach it in a nonthreatening, nonjudgmental way. Don’t act like you’re an expert, because you are assuredly not an expert with their children. You may have some great ideas, and you may want to share them. This is great; but don’t make the other parent feel like they’re horrible.

I have ways with my parenting that other people may not agree with: I do not enforce a strict bedtime for Peanut (though with preschool, that will change - for now, we’re good); I allow her to make her own decisions on a lot of things, like what to wear, if she wants to wear a hat, etc.; we are thinking about homeschooling her and/or her brother if it is right for them and for our family; we let her watch UFC with her father. I know I could do many things differently, but if I need or want advice, I’ll seek it out. I have no problem asking my mom friends like Randi or my own mother or mother-in-law for tips or suggestions. What I do have a problem with is people criticizing or implying criticism of my parenting.

This post turned into something completely different than I planned. I was actually going to talk about a technique Nanny Jo used…next post, I promise. And sorry about the rambling rant - I guess I had that on my mind!

Today, of course, was the Inauguration of Barack Obama. I wanted to watch it - I remember watching President Clinton’s Inauguration, but not Bush’s. Anyway, I turned on the tv and watched it with Peanut. I had to explain what was going on - that we were getting a new president and it was very exciting…

What’s a president?
He’s in charge of the whole country, the whole United States.
What’s the United States?

So I tried to explain the concept of a country to her. Then I was telling her who all the people were. Every time someone walked out to the balcony, she’d ask, “Is that Obama?” She asked if there were two President Bush’s - I was impressed by this question. Ahhh, my Peanut is a genius!

So it was a big day for us…she learned what our country is called, what a president does, sort of what a vice president does, and who our new president is. She loves to say “Obama.” She thinks it’s a fun name.

Toddlers have endless questions - it makes watching the news a bit challenging (you have to explain EVERYTHING!), but it does tell you how much they are capable of learning. They’re just like sponges soaking up all the information they can. And it’s amazing when they retain it. It makes you feel like an accomplished parent when this happens! I’m so proud of my baby - I get irritated at times when she asks question after question. After question. But this means she’s learning, so I’ll deal with it. Today I told her that I knew she was smart because she asked so many questions. Her reply: Why?

Last week, I wrote about a warning not to use Vaporub under your child’s nose: today, another warning from a staple of childhood - peanut butter. The FDA is advising people to avoid peanut butter and products like cookies, ice cream and others that contain peanut butter. There is salmonella contamination in some and the government wants to get a handle on just which brands are affected. Apparently no major brands sold in stores have been reported as having problems. But it’s better to err on the side of caution, I think.

Here’s a clip from that article:

Federal health officials say the outbreak has affected more than 470 people in 43 states so far. The contamination may be linked to six deaths.

Officials are focusing on peanut paste, as well as peanut butter, produced at a Blakely, Ga., facility owned by Peanut Corp. of America. Its peanut butter is not sold directly to consumers but distributed to institutions and food companies.

Peanut went through a stage this summer when she’d eat a ton of peanut butter. Out of the jar. So just to be cautious, we’ll skip the Skippy for a while.

If it’s a staple in your house, I found a site that gives alternatives to p.b. This is good also for those little toddlers who have allergies. Click here for some alternatives.

Update: An article today says that peanut butter sold in jars appears to be safe, but we should stay away from snacks and items with peanut butter in them. Among some named are:

Austin and Keebler branded Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers, and some snack-size packs of Famous Amos Peanut Butter Cookies and Keebler Soft Batch Homestyle Peanut Butter Cookies.

I’ve been having a problem with the Little Guy - I thought I was just the best mom when he slept through the night at two months old. We put him to bed at 8:30 or 9:00 and he slept until 6:30. Aren’t I awesome. Until this month when he started waking up. Last night, he was up at midnight, 3:00, and just after 6:00. I am tired! I was talking to former Parenting Toddlers writer, Randi, to ask for some advice because she has two excellent children. As we were talking, it came out that we don’t have bed times. Peanut doesn’t have a bed time.

We have always been very go-with-the-flow when it comes to stuff like this - which is an anathema to my personality by the way - but it works for us. Part of the reason is because my partner has such an erratic work schedule…yesterday he went in to work at 7:00 am and will come home today at 1:00 pm or so. He has tomorrow off and works from 3:00 pm Monday to 8:00 am Tuesday, then back to work at 3:00 on Tuesday…it just is not rigid and is always changing from week to week and even from day to day. When he is home, it is more important to me that Peanut and the Little Guy spend time with us as a family than go to bed by a certain time.

I am lucky enough to stay home with them, so she can sleep as late as she likes. We don’t have to rush off to daycare or work, which is good. Then, she has nap time at around 1:00 or 2:00. It’s a good way for us to do things. Dinner time is the same way. Some people have dinner every night at 6:00 or whenever. Our dinner time is whenever it works for us. Sometimes we’ll eat without her father, sometimes we’ll wait. Based on how hungry we are.

Bed time, whenever that is, is not a problem for Peanut. Sure, sometimes she puts up a little resistance and wants to stay up - doesn’t every kid, whether they have a bed time or not? But the vast majority of the time, she grabs Bo and heads upstairs to brush teeth and read a story. In this way, we do have somewhat of a routine. I think Peanut thrives on this type of loose structure. The Little Guy, on the other hand, may not. What do we do with him if he needs a rigid schedule? It’ll be a challenge, I’m sure. And another thing we’ll have to think about is school. I want Peanut to go to pre-school in the fall. She’ll have to be up and ready at a certain hour; bed time the same time every night will make sense. That’ll be an adjustment, but for now, we’re happy with the way we do things…except for the Little Guy. Maybe he’s more like me in personality and needs a bit more structure. Or maybe he’s a baby and just wakes up at night.

Do your kids have bed times? What time do you start the going-to-bed routine? What do you do? Does it work for you and your toddler?

Do not go outside. Under no circumstances allow your toddler to go outside…It is freezing. No, it is below freezing. If it were freezing, it’d be fifty degrees warmer. It is absurd…Peanut had to go to Grandma Day, so she is bundled. I usually let her decide if she’s going to wear socks - we’re big into choice and making your own decisions - today it was nonnegotiable. Socks, mittens, hat, long-sleeved shirt, sweatshirt, jacket. AND a blanket. Her grandmother brought one to bundle her in on the way to the car. It is really that cold! It’s so cold the snow squeaks when you walk on it and it hurts to take a deep breath. It’s a great day to stay inside and snuggle under a blanket…watch some cartoons and drink hot cocoa. Stay warm, everyone!

It’s not Peanut’s birthday - not even really close. But I do realize there are other children in the world other than mine, so I thought I’d write about toddler birthday parties. This year, Peanut got a baby brother for her birthday - here’s really hoping we don’t repeat that gift.

When Suri Cruise turned 2, her famous parents threw her a $100,000 birthday party. I think this is great; imagine how many caterers, birthday clowns, flower shops, cake makers, and other party people they helped keep in business? For the rest of us to whom $100,000 is a few year’s salary, we can scale back and still have a great party. In all the stories I’ve read about Suri’s lavish birthday parties - 4 tier cakes, individual cakes for the guests, an absurd amount of flowers, etc. - they always mention the “normal” things that the toddler did, like playing outside, wearing their cake, and kicking a ball around. You can do this for next to nothing, and your child will have a blast.

The first thing that I would suggest for a toddler birthday party is to keep it low key. It’s nice to celebrate, but I know with Peanut at least, a big loud party is a bad idea. She gets overwhelmed and kind of sad when there is too much constant stimulation. For me at least, I would limit the amount of guests to close family members and a few toddler buddies. Also, keep it short. Toddlers don’t need to party the night away. An hour to an hour and a half is great - it keeps little attention spans engaged and cuts off the fun before tempers flare.

Second, choose a theme. I’m not a huge theme person - mainly because I’m too disorganized. On second thought, though, maybe Peanut’s birthday did have a theme. Bo. We made a cake and my sister drew a picture of Bo in purple icing. (Peanut wants another Bo cake for next year.) The Little Guy’s present to his big sister was a t-shirt with Bo’s picture on it. Her aunt made her a Bo quilt (so cute!!) and a pillow for the dog too. If you don’t have your own dirty, nasty, smelly stuffed dog to create a theme around, maybe choose Dora? Sesame Street? Curious George? Whatever your toddler likes. Then you can find party supplies with those characters. This might be pricey - so your theme can be whatever the dollar store carries. I’m serious. They have little zoo animal plates, so you could have a zoo/wild animal theme. Don’t overextend yourself for a kid’s party. They’ll like anything.

One good idea was to have a “color” party. Have everyone dress in your child’s favorite color. Make the cake that color, have the balloons be that color. It’s a great way for your little one to feel special and keep budget at the same time.

Have a few fun, simple activities

*Cover a table and some wall space with paper. They have big roles at teacher stores and other places I’m sure. Have crayons and colored pencils handy and let the kids draw. Easy and kids love to draw. Watch out for your walls though.

*Have a bubble station. Kids love bubbles. Have some individual wands, have bubble party favors, have a big wand so kids can make huge bubbles. Fun, easy. Might work better outside!

*Do a non-competitive game. If you have a game with a winner with toddlers, you are asking for trouble. Don’t do it!! They can play Follow the Leader or something like that that has no “winner.” Everyone can get a prize (piece of candy or something small). Don’t expect much from organized games though - they’re toddlers.

*Read a fun story.

*If you have a theme, you can find activities to correspond. Say you have a jungle theme - you can play Pin the Tail on the Lion (remember: everyone’s a winner!) or have a contest of who can make the best wild animal sound.

*Have a few activities planned and ready but don’t force them. If the kids are having fun just playing, let them. Maybe have the party at a park if you can…that way they can run and play and not drive you nuts in the house. If you have to do it indoors, be prepared for a little noise. Keep calm and just go with the flow.

There are tons of ideas for toddler parties online…but my advice is to just keep it short, simple, and cheap. Also, have some snacks for the parents who come along! My friend Randi has the best kid birthday parties. She sets out ingredients (like chocolate chips, dried cranberries, Chex, marshmallows, and other fun stuff) so you can make your own trail mix. Kids and adults like that one!
I really don’t see the point of little kid parties that are extravagant…I think at toddler age, these are prime temper tantrum inducers. I say let them play a bit, have some cake, and don’t go crazy.

Not long ago, I wrote about what we did for Peanut when she was sick. Among the things I listed was using Vaporub. Stop!! Before you put it on your toddler, check this out. I avoid work by looking at Yahoo, and they had an article on Vaporub.

I said that we put a little dab under Peanut’s nose - well, according to new research, this can cause respiratory distress in children under age 2. The small airways can swell and fill with mucus. Apparently, this is only a problem when applied directly under the nose, not when it is put on the chest or back. Vaporub has been on the market for 100 years, and is a safe one - except for under the nose in young children (whose airways are smaller than adults). Doctors recommend that you ask before using on children under 2 and do not put it under the nose - for anyone, not just toddlers and young children. I’m glad I read this - I had no idea that I could possibly be doing harm to Peanut. I thought I’d share this with you and tell you that I was wrong about putting it under the nose. Don’t do it! Better safe than sorry.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before! When my little sister was a toddler, she loved singalongs. She loved them the way only toddlers can - with her whole thirty pound being. A few months ago, we got a singalong to try with Peanut. She didn’t care for it, so it went away into the dvd case. Today, though, we were hanging out with the Little Guy, looking for something to do. It was cold and snowy out so outdoor play was out. She started singing “Circle of Life,” from the Lion King. She gets really into it, so I dug out the video and put it on.

She loves it. The one we got has songs from the Lion King, plus a few more Disney ones mixed in. The great part is that she can sing and dance. These videos are perfect winter activities because she gets a ton of movement from dancing. I picked up the Little Guy and danced too. Hey, toting around a 15+ pound baby is a workout too, so we all win.

There are a bunch of singalong videos, so you’ll be able to find some with songs your child loves.

Peanut is Rafikki and Bo is Simba. She gets VERY into this.

If you don’t want to buy the videos, you can probably get them at your local library. I know ours has singalongs you can borrow. You can also use a CD with kids songs and dance around. Or thanks to the internet, you can go on Youtube and play any videos you like. We used to do this with Peanut because they’re typically very short…if you need a minute to yourself, Youtube is pretty good.

So we had a fun hour of dancing and singing…yes, an hour. That’s a great amount of exercise and Peanut was nice and mellow for a while after. That’s very worth listening to Disney songs. She got the song “Yummy, Yummy, Yummy” (sung by Timon and Pumbaa) stuck in her head. Me too. But again, it’s worth it.

Singalongs are my new favorite. We won’t see the grass for another four months, and when it’s too cold to go out, this is a great alternative. And fun for your toddler.

As an aside, I was putting away my Christmas decorations earlier and kept finding random candy canes around. Peanut will eat these at any time of day, and they are just sugar. I wanted to get rid of them, but I seem to be genetically unable to get rid of food, even if it is junk food. So I found a great idea on Wax and Bubbles, a fun craft site. You can make a sugar scrub from your leftover candy canes. This was a fabulous idea, and you can have a piece of the spa at zero cost (better than paying $200 for a sugar scrub, huh?) Check it out if you have some leftover candy canes that you don’t want hitting your toddler’s teeth.

Is anyone else tired? I’m exhausted! When you have a toddler, it’s a ton of work. When you have a toddler and another child - whether older or younger - it is a ton of work plus a toddler. This morning, for instance…we live in an apartment complex where they plow and shovel our walks and driveway. It’s very nice. We don’t have to get up when it’s snowing and break our backs shoveling. But we do have to get up and move the cars so they don’t get towed. So this morning, I thought, well, I’ll bundle up the kids, pack them in the car, and go to the store to get some coffee (Green Mountain Coffee is the absolute best). By the time I’ve done that, they’ll be done plowing and I can move my car back into the main parking lot.

It snowed like crazy last night, and is still going strong. Peanut refuses to wear mittens, so I figured I’d adhere to her father’s philosophy of organic consequences: if she gets cold, next time she’ll wear mittens. Anyway, we went outside, and Peanut insisted on getting her little toy shovel and shoveling our walk. Of course, by the time we got to the car, her hands were little icicles. I had to get her brother in the car, brush six inches of snow off, and then deal with Peanut. She was screeching at this point.

So, her brother was being an angel on the way to the store, while she screams. My patience wore thin and I told her it was fine to cry but she needed to stop screeching so she wouldn’t upset her brother. Meanwhile, the Little Guy was just as mellow as could be. He probably felt like the most mature one in the car, which I give him. I should have made her wear mittens, I know. Bad mom. Anyway, we got to the store where she proceeded to cry more and refuse any offers of granola bars, which she usually likes. Of course, the people there thought she was just adorable. I got my coffee, because I really needed it at this point. Peanut was briefly distracted by some Gummi Whales, which she said were for whales. So she’s good now. Then on our way out of the store, she slips and falls right on her little tush right in a big pile of snow. Here we go again.

We get into the car, screaming again, and to make it worse, Bo was wet. Finally, after making a “quick” trip to the store, we were home. The worst part is that I know this is entirely my fault. I didn’t have to go to get coffee. I could have made some at home. I could have made her wear mittens. I could have just let her stay inside, snuggling in a blanket and watching a cartoon while I took the baby to move the car.

I could have but my partner started a 32 hour shift on Friday, came home for a few hours last night, and went to work again today until 6 or 7 pm (we’re glad for all the hours though!). I’m tired of them! I’m just tired. I want to take a nap! I want Green Mountain to make a 40 ounce coffee cup instead of the 24 I have now! (I was told to cut down my caffeine intake, by the way).

But toddlers are tricky. They find ways to wend their way into your hearts. Right now, Peanut is putting her head on my foot, cuddling like the perfect little angel she is.

It’s been cold; I would take Peanut out, but she’s been sick, and it’s too cold for the baby to go out.

Too cold?

So what do you do? Peanut has an abundance of energy to let out, she needs fresh air, and she needs exercise. The other day, she was watching Sesame Street; they had a segment in which the kids were doing dances like the Mushroom Dance and the Corn Dance. Just basically flailing around like toddlers do, but she loved it. Dancing is a great way to burn off energy. Freeze dance is a good one; you play music and then stop it. They have to freeze until you put it back on. It also teaches them to follow instructions.

Here is a fun activity that will keep your toddler busy, get rid of some of their endless energy, allow them to make a mess, and have a great time.

Indoor Obstacle Course (from FamilyFun.com):
WHAT YOU NEED:
Obstacles–furniture, pillows, etc.
String
Paper and tape
Household objects

HOW TO PLAY:
1. Plot your course. Obstacles that might be included in the course: crawling under or over chairs; crawling under a table without disturbing any balloons dangling on strings from the bottom; sliding under or crawling over a string stretched between two table or chair legs; crawling or slithering through a tunnel made from couch pillows; or stepping on a series of pieces of paper taped to the floor.

2. To make the course even more challenging, add further elements. Have kids go through the course while holding an empty toilet paper tube in each hand. Try wearing a large hat while maneuvering through the obstacles; if the hat comes off, it’s back to square one.

VARIATIONS:
Other obstacle possibilities include silly rules like jumping up and down three times after completing certain “stations” or singing a song at a certain point in the course. The variations are almost endless.

I realized that I have been neglecting to look at a very important aspect of raising a toddler: working. I have the immense privilege to stay home with my kids. We make financial sacrifices to do so, but it is worth it. I sometimes complain about being overworked (as any parent is!) but I do have lucid moments when I realize how good I have it. Hopefully, that translates into it being good for my kids as well. But it does make it hard to do work. Even during this post, I’ve played with the baby, watched Peanut do the cucumber dance (from Sesame Street), fed the baby, and I’m going to have to rock him to sleep in a minute. So a task that should take ten minutes or so, takes much much longer. And this isn’t even my “real” job. I have other writing that I do.

When moms and dads work outside the home, it’s the same for them. They may not get interrupted and asked to play Mr. Potato Head, but they have to juggle schedules to accommodate for doctor’s appointments, school functions, and any other home things that crop up throughout the day. They still worry about their children and home things, making work sometimes difficult. Whether you work at home or out, it is a full time job raising a toddler.

How do you juggle work and kids? Since we’ve had the Little Guy, it’s been a bit more difficult, and I don’t always do a good job. But here are some things I want to try to get better at:

*Having work time, and having play time. It’s kind of mixed up, but I want to make sure I have time for both. With my particular schedule, my partner is home quite a bit, so I can rely on him more. I have to get better at using nap times and the time when the kids go to bed. The problem is that I want to go to bed too! No rest for the weary, huh? So, get better at that.

*Be more efficient. When I work, I have a horrible habit of checking my email, looking at the news online, chatting with my best friend (you know who you are…you distract me LOL), and doing other stuff that really eats up time I could be finishing work. If I just focus, I could get done much quicker.

*Prioritize. My first job is the kids, and in the long run, that’s what matters most. I’m going to try to keep that in the front of my mind. When I’m fifty, will I care if the house is clean or that my daughter and son are happy? Will I regret that I didn’t do that load of laundry or that I didn’t eat some of Peanut’s good pretend cooking? It’s clear this way, but hard to always do.

*Incorporate the kids. The Little Guy is on his own schedule…I can work when he sleeps. But Peanut can be part of the work. Today, I was on the computer and she got her Leap Frog keyboard and started working right beside me. This is why we got her the computer game (we’re not big video game people at all), so she could “work” when I was. I can also try to get her set up with a project or craft that she can do while I work.

*Just relax. It’ll get done. Have fun. Play with the children. I find that if I do this, it goes much smoother, and I feel better.

Something my doctor said to me has stuck with me - we were talking about postpartum depression, and she said “Don’t have a picture in your head of what it should be like.” In other words, don’t set an idealistic or idyllic picture and expect yourself to always be Perfect Parent. She also said, “You don’t have to be everything to your kids. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, you just have to be good enough.” I think you should always try to be better than just good enough, but her point was that it won’t kill them if I am imperfect at times or if they watch an episode of Clifford while I get some work done. But I definitely think she’s right, and I’ve tried to take those words to heart and give myself a break, while trying to do my best…not “the” best, but “my” best.

How do you handle your job and your kids? Do you have any suggestions for other working parents or at-home parents who also do a ton of work?

Also, thanks very much to Lessa for the new banner. She made it a million years ago, and I’m just now putting it up. I appreciate it, Lessa. (She writes a parenting blog for those lucky enough to have teenagers. Can’t wait for that. If you have one of your very own, check her out.)

It occurs to me that I’ve already shown you this picture. But it took so long to upload on my recently sluggish computer that I am just leaving it. So here is Peanut (again) showing her brother how to play.

Peanut is still sick. She hardly ever gets colds, so I’m thankful that this is not a regular occurrence. She has a slight fever - which, coincidentally, the Man in the Yellow Hat had today on Curious George - and we’ve been giving her Tylenol for that. Other than that, she doesn’t take anything. Recently, the FDA told parents that cough and cold medicine for babies and toddlers was not safe. In a statement, the FDA said that these OTC medicines should never be used for babies and toddlers under two, and that they didn’t work. They’re still debating over whether they’re effective and safe for older children. I just read in an article that though medicines may be labeled “infant,” there is no FDA requirement or dosage that is defined as “infant” - meaning just because it says “infant” doesn’t mean it’s safe for babies or toddlers. When it says to check with your doctor, it really means it. I only give Peanut Tylenol because her pediatrician said it was ok for me to do so. The main problems are that babies and toddlers are often incorrectly dosed - we may give them too much medicine; that we give them the medicine too frequently; and that we may mix OTC medications in unsafe combinations. This can cause convulsions, lowered levels of consciousness, increased heart rate, and even death. And it’s not like it’s abusive parents - it’s well-meaning parents who want their children to feel better. A report in Pediatrics found that more than 7000 kids who were 12 and younger were treated in 63 ERs across the country for “adverse drug events attributable to cough and cold medications.” Children age 2 to 5 accounted for most of these (64%).

Another problem is that toddlers often get into medicine without their parents’ knowledge or consent. Of the children age 2 to 5 who were treated, two-thirds had taken medicine on the sly. I know Peanut loves to take Tylenol - it’s weird, she likes to take drops of any kind - so if she could get into the bottle, she would. So far, she hasn’t mastered the child-proof cap, but apparently many children do.

So, we don’t give her cough and cold medicine - what can you do for a toddler who is sick? It’s so hard to deal with and not be able to give them something. Here are some suggestions:

*VapoRub or some kind of mentholated rub. It clears the nasal passages. I rub it on Peanut’s neck and chest. I also put a dab under her nose so she can breathe it in. It seems to help.

*A cool mist humidifier. We have one that you can add menthol oil to so it kind of spreads that around the room as well as humidifying it.

*GirlsHealth.gov recommends saline drops for the nostrils. I say good luck getting them in a toddlers nose. But give it a try if you can. They also recommended using a bulb syringe to suck out the mucous - Peanut will run and hide at the sight of those things, but again, if you can, give it a try.

*Baths. Peanut is just like her father. When they’re sick, they like baths. It seems to calm her, which is a huge bonus. If you can get some steam going, that may help too. You can find baby bath products for coughs and colds. They have menthol and other goodies to help clear the nasal passages, which may be soothing.

*Drink lots of fluids. I don’t know if orange juice really helps because of the vitamin C, but it certainly helps to keep lots of liquids in your child. Peanut is drinking juice, but we’ve found that popsicles are a lifesaver. She likes them, and we got some with vitamin C in them. Keep them hydrated.

*My partner loves garlic. I love it too, but he really loves it. He thinks it cures all - and I’m inclined to agree. He made Peanut a broth with a ton of garlic (cooked with a bit of olive oil really well so it’s soft) and some noodles because what kid doesn’t like noodles?

*Wash up and use tissues! Peanut is kind of gross - she hates to blow her nose, so we have to tell her. I told her to get one, and she said, “No, I can just use my shirt.” Oh Lord. So, tissues are our friends, and washing up is also good. We tell her to cover her mouth so she doesn’t sneeze or cough all over her brother.

*Naps. Naps. Naps. We’re lucky because Peanut puts herself to bed when she’s ready. The past few days, she’s been telling us when it’s nap time.

Is there anything else you do for your children when they have colds? What works for you? Oh I forgot to mention one more: Clifford. She likes to read Clifford, and we got a Clifford video for Christmas, so he’s been a good remedy for us.

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