Parenting Toddlers

We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas the other day - Peanut’s first time. She was a little scared of him at first. He definately is not a cute cuddly cartoon, that’s for sure. She loved the poor dog and liked that the Grinch’s heart grew at the end.

When visiting her grandparents, Peanut told them that Santa was going to bring her presents. Her father said, “What if the Grinch comes and takes them?”

Peanut thought for a minute and said, “I don’t think the Grinch is in this area.” I swear. Then she said, “I haven’t seen any green people around.” Good point. She told me that if the Grinch comes to take our presents, she’ll kick him in the butt. I definately have a little toughie!

I always thought I was pretty impervious to the whole buying each new toy for my children. I was, until Peanut got to the age where she knows what Christmas is and that Santa brings you presents. It’s not that she watches tv and asks for every toy on every commerical - but she does want presents and lots of them. I actually caught myself feeling guilty last week for not planning on buying her a lot for Christmas; like if there aren’t boxes and boxes under the Christmas tree, it’s not a happy holiday. This is ridiculous: I know it’s not true and yet I keep feeling like that.

I found this article on Yahoo.news about toys and the economic situation many people are facing now. Apparently, a group of parents sent letters to executives of toy companies, asking them to stop advertising directly to children.

Todd Helmkamp of Houston wrote:

Unfortunately, I will not be able to purchase many of the toys that my sons have asked for; we simply don’t have the money. By bombarding them with advertisements … you are placing parents like me in the unenviable position of having to tell our children that we can’t afford the toys you promote.

The response? Basically, no. Kids, they say, are children are “a vital part of the gift selection process.”

If children are not aware of what is new and available, how will they be able to tell their families what their preferences are? While there is certainly greater economic disturbance going on now, families have always faced different levels of economic well-being and have managed to tailor their spending to their means.

I don’t think anyone should fault toy companies - not at all - but the tone of this response bothers me a bit. To me, it sounds like “So you don’t have money? What’re you gonna do - you still have to buy toys so we’re not going to do anything differently.”

Here are some things from the article that I found very interesting - and very sad:
”

“Parents have trouble saying no,” said Allison Pugh, a University of Virginia sociology professor. She says parents often buy toys to avoid guilt and ensure their children feel in sync with school classmates.

“Even under circumstances of dire financial straits, that’s the last thing parents give up,” said Pugh. “They’ll contain their own buying for themselves before they’ll make their child feel different at school.”

Amanda Almodovar says she encounters such families in her work as an elementary school social worker in Alamance County, N.C., where homelessness and unemployment are rising.

“I had one parent who said she’d prostitute herself to get what her child wants,” Almodovar said. “It’s heartbreaking. They feel inadequate as parents.

“I try to tell them, worry about your home, your heating bill — but they’re the ones who have to look into children’s faces, the children saying ‘I want this, I want that.’”

I would definately pay the rent over buying Christmas presents, but I also think that I can’t disappoint Peanut on the first Christmas she’ll remember. So I sort of compromised with myself - my mother wanted to buy her a little play kitchen because she loves cooking things for her stuffed dog, Bo. Anyway, I decided to upgrade it a little for a little more money. The kitchen comes with a bunch of stuff, and she’ll love it. But that’s basically her present from us. That’s it: one present. She’ll get stuff from her grandparents, I’m sure, and I think that it is more than plenty.

It’s easier for us now because Peanut doesn’t go to school. She doesn’t have to compare presents with classmates. I don’t envy parents in that position. Hopefully, I’ll not succumb to the lure of buying, buying, buying in the future.

A recent poll found that seventy percent of people plan to spend differently this year. I’m going to cut back a little on presents for everyone - which does make me feel a little bad. I’m working on regaining some Christmas spirit that does not involve presents. People got so anxious to get good deals that they beat down a WalMart door and ended up killing an employee…I think that’s a sign that things need to change.

Do you plan on changing how you spend this Christmas?

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with your children.

Thanksgiving is almost here…for most of us, that means a feast. A day of gluttony. I may have mentioned - several times, to everyone I know - that I’m trying to lose my baby weight (and twenty more I can’t blame on the baby). Everyone else in my family is thin - my sisters can eat whatever and stay small. My older sister actually said to me once, “I gained some weight. Now I’m a size 0.” Are you kidding me?? Anyway, I found a delicious recipe for a decadant dessert that is also on the healthy side. From FoodFit.com, here is a recipe for Baked Apples with Raisin-Nut Stuffing and Caramel Sauce:

This recipe serves: 8

Number of Servings: 8
Per Serving
Calories 382 Carbohydrate 68 g
Fat 13 g Fiber 6 g
Protein 2 g Saturated Fat 4 g
Sodium mg

This is sweet enough to satisfy your children - and you - it is also very seasonal and warm, like apple or pumpkin pies. It is also something you can feel good about eating. And simple. I hate recipes that call for ingredients that our markets don’t sell here!

Speaking of all this food, food shelves are experiencing shortages as the economy hits some areas very hard. Many people have a lot less this year, including the food banks. Around this time of year, grocery stores often have a box where you can donate a canned good or two. There are food drives all around, and you can always go to a food bank and make a donation of food or money. It’s easy to do: just buy one or two extra cans of a veggie or something like that. It’s not only Thanksgiving when people need some extra help, but it is a nice time of year to help out. This would be a great thing to do with your toddler too.

This is really the first year that Peanut has some idea of what Thanksgiving is. She knows that it’s a day we visit family and think about the things we’re thankful for. I think we’ll go to the library this week and try to get a book on the first Thanksgiving. Here are some great craft ideas (stolen, as always, from FamilyFun.com) that are pretty easy for toddlers. The one pictured here might be a little difficult for little ones, but you can offer some help. Here’s what you need:

Yellow and red felt
Tacky glue
Googly eyes
Brown pom-poms
Pinecones
Pipe cleaners

1. For each turkey, cut out a yellow beak and a red wattle from felt. Then glue the beak, wattle, and a pair of googly eyes onto a pom-pom to create the turkey’s head.

2. Glue the pom-pom head to the tip of a pinecone. Allow the glue to dry.

3. Wrap a pipe cleaner around the middle of the turkey’s cone body, starting from the top and twisting it together a few times on the underside. Separate the ends of the pipe cleaner (below the twists) and bend each tip into a 3-toed foot.

4. For the turkey’s tail, individually wrap 3 or 4 pipe cleaners around the back of the pinecone, starting from the underside and twisting them together a few times on the top of the pinecone to secure them. Then loop both ends of each pipe cleaner to shape tail feathers.

I’m all for making crafts from things we already have on hand - we don’t have pipe cleaners or little pom-poms! I should stock up for the winter. Crafts are a good way to pass some time when we can’t go outside. Anyway, here are some crafts that you can do with something that every parent of toddlers has at home: crayons.

Just color and then hang up for decoration. Done. It’s great because toddlers love to color and it fits their attention span.

You can print this out (get the printable here) and use them as templates. Trace them onto construction paper or just a brown bag and then decorate them with crayons or markers - glitter if you want to get fancy. You can then use them for place cards for your Thanksgiving guests. Cute, simple, practical. In my family, we just sit wherever, but I know everyone would think it was too cute if Peanut made place cards.

For this one, you can help your child trace her hand to make a turkey. Then color, and voila, another decoration that’s quick and easy.

You can also involve your child in the baking. Peanut loves to help me bake. I put everything in the measuring cups, and she pours it into the bowls. She loves to know she made something yummy.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday because my family all got together. I espeically love it now that I have children, and I want to make sure to include Peanut (and the Little Guy when he’s a bit bigger) in it as much as possible. Please feel free to share any other Thanksgiving craft ideas or Thanksgiving traditions with us.

The Ultimate Mom Hair

I realized something kind of disturbing today. I have Mom Hair. You know what I mean…I have a haircut that screams, “I take my kids to story hour!” and in a few years, it’ll scream, “I am a big old soccer mom!” I got my hair cut last in August, I think. I wanted it short and easy-to-do before the baby was born. Then, it sort of grew out because I haven’t had time to get a haircut, and also because the Little Guy is usually attached to me. So, I have Mom Hair by accident - or neglect.

I was thinking about this also because I have a fifteen year old sister. She’s gorgeous and fun, and we hang out a lot. When I bring her around with my kids, I wonder if people think she’s my daughter. I know we were mistaken for mother and child when she was younger. For the record, I’d have to have been thirteen when I had her - a bit young for me. Anyway, it occurred to me, though, that I looked like a mom. I don’t necessarily look like the cool older sister when we go shopping. I look more like the one who goes to make sure she doesn’t get anything too slutty or trashy. I go to make sure she gets shoes that fit not to make sure she gets the hottest ones. When she talks about college, I don’t tell her about all the awesome parties; I tell her to choose one that is reasonably priced so she isn’t loaded down with debt by the time she’s twenty.

This all sounds very mature of me, which is odd because I feel like I pretend to be a grown-up. But looking like a grown-up is something else altogether. I’m at the age where I have to start dressing my age, I think. I have to start using wrinkle cream (which, by the way, my aforementioned sister got me for my birthday). I’m growing more “adult” every day. I have refused to drive a minivan because I didn’t want to be the soccer mom - now I realize that it would be great to have a minivan so I could more easily maneuver my kids in and out of carseats and have room for another passenger or two.

Being a mom has changed my life until it is unrecognizable - and wonderful. There are so many things that are different, including my hair it seems. I think I’ll make an appointment to get my hair cut. I love being a mom, but I’m not ready for Mom Hair.

Last night, I was up at three…well, this morning, I guess. And it wasn’t the baby. He was snoozing away. Peanut called to me, “I peed in my bed.” This has happened several times lately. We phased out diapers at night…I think we’ll have to phase them back in. I’m not sure what the problem is - probably she just wakes up too late? Whenever she does this, she always goes to the toilet and finishes. She gets really upset and cries. Her father didn’t make it better the other day - waking up at midnight to deal with a pee-soaked child is not fun! He was a bit cranky. Anyway, last night, I put her in a diaper and moved her to my bed - I confess I was too lazy and too tired to change her sheets and remake her bed. In my defense, that involves moving and rearranging a billion stuffed animals, none of whom she can sleep without. (I’ll tell you what I do with all these stuffed animals when she’s not looking in another post LOL).

Anyway, I gave her a hug and reassured her that accidents happen. So we’re back to diapers at night. Is this a step backward? I know other kids still wear diapers at night…but for how long? When do you expect your toddler to be out of diapers? I’m just curious…this is my first go-around at this. I’m sure I’ll have it all figured out when the baby is ready for potty training. Right. This is one of those things you just have to wait out, I think. Any suggestions though? I’m glad she’s out of diapers during the day, and she does very well on car trips and everything. I can definately deal with one diaper at night. The funny thing is that when she has a diaper, she almost always wakes up dry.

Potty training is a long road, I’m finding out. We got over the initial hurdle very quickly once she was ready; now it’s just a matter of patience. Right?? I have no idea!

Once I got myself settled back into bed, guess who woke up and wanted to eat? It’s fun having kids!!

We were bored one day…

When I was little, I never talked to strangers. I never even talked to people I knew! I was very shy. Peanut, however, takes after her father. She’s a talker. The other day, we were at a restaurant. On our way out, the couple next to us commented that the baby was quiet (I think they meant in comparison to Peanut!). This set Peanut free to start talking to them. “My name is Peanut. I’m three.” This is her standard introduction. So she starts talking about her brother. Then she told them it was almost my birthday. Just whatever she thinks of. It’s cute - especially because I was so not like that. But it also worries her father and I. This propensity to talk to most anyone is worrying. Peanut is always with either her father, her grandparents, or me. It’s not like we leave her alone, but still you worry about things happening. Turning your back for a second in the store or something like that. And in that moment, you don’t know who is around. So as far as talking to strangers, I’m glad she’s extroverted, but I also need her to understand the danger. Without freaking her out, of course.

After that incident in the restaurant, her father and I talked to her about talking to strangers. We said it was ok if mom or dad was right there but not to if we were not. We told her that if someone told her that he had candy or a puppy (my God, she’d go with anyone to see a puppy) to scream and run. Just start screaming like crazy. I wanted to see what else I should be doing to ensure her safety as far as strangers so I looked and found a good site with advice. KidsGrowth suggests:

* Being honest but appropriate. Tell them that there is danger but don’t scare them. They suggest comparing it to a fire drill. It doesn’t mean a fire is going to happen, it’s just helping them be prepared in case.

* Repetition. It is important to reiterate rules with toddlers. If they hear them once or twice, they may forget it. Talk about strangers often so they don’t even have to think about it - they just know.

* Role play. You can practice being the “stranger.”
* Talk about who a stranger is. We do this with Peanut and dogs. She knows she can’t pet strange dogs, but she always asks if a certain dog is strange. A stranger is just somoene your child doesn’t know. Period. That’s it. If your child doesn’t know him, he’s a stranger and they should use caution.
Even if it turns out to be some well-meaining person or even one of your coworkers or something, better safe than sorry. Don’t worry about being polite.

* If a stranger approaches your child, tell him not to talk, not even to say “I can’t talk to strangers.” The best thing to do is scream. He can yell “Call 911.” And run in the opposite direction.

It’s true that stranger kidnappings are not common. Usually children are harmed by people they know. But it still happens, and arming your children with information and tools to handle situations they may encounter is a good idea.

Last week, the gluttony known as Halloween took place. We took Peanut around to a few houses - not more than twenty - and got a ton of candy. To make matters worse (for me, anyway - trying to lose weight after having a baby at the beginning of holiday eating season is hard), her grandparents went on vacation and returned with the most delicious chocolates for us. Anyway, Peanut ate some candy while we visited with her grandparents, and then we went home. Every night, she has a snack before bed. I was thinking she’d want candy, but no. The kid went to the fridge - which she just learned to open by herself - and got an apple.

I’d like to tell you that this great example of sensible eating habits was due to my stelllar parenting and good example. Nope, I was sitting on the couch eating one her her Reece’s peanut butter cups. In my defense, they are very hard to resist. As I sat there, though, I began to think about the holidays ahead. Halloween is followed by Thanksgiving, which is followed by Christmas. At the end of these two months, many people have gained a few pounds and feel as lethargic as they did after eating the turkey. In my family, espeically, we eat. We go to my parents house for holidays and just sit and eat. My mother feeds us all day. You’d better wear sweat pants if you come to her house. Ironically, all my siblings are skinny little things - stupid siblings.

I suck at watching what I eat. I can’t do it. When I was pregnant, I sort of figured I’d crack down on my eating habits when I had the baby. Now that I have him, I find myself grabbing a snack during his midnight feedings or eating a sugary treat or two. Or three. What I am good at, though, is exercising. I have always been able to motivate myself to exercise, and while my eating makes losing weight a slow process, at least I’m healthy and eventually going to make it to my goal.

My point in all this rambling? Peanut is very petite. She is in the tenth percentile for height and weight for her age. She snacks seemingly all day, and yet she stays small. But she’s also been eating a lot more “bad” snacks lately, partly due to Halloween. I’m hoping she inherited my family’s small genes (except for me, which makes me believe I’m adopted), but I can’t help worry about her weight. Or her gaining weight, I guess. It is so difficult for girls especially to have weight issues and I want to spare her that if I can. The first step would be to curb my own terrible habits - which I’m working on.

The second thing that is so important to do for your children is to exercise and encourage them to as well. It is recommended that toddlers get one hour of moderate activity per day and three hours of vigorous activity per week. Peanut runs around constantly - she sometimes just runs back and forth across the living room. And I’m sure your toddlers are little bundles of energy too. Or they should be. Try to encourage this natural love of movement before they become sedentary from habit. Little kids love to play and move. We lose this love somewhere along the line, but if we encourage our kids to exercise, they’ll stay fit and healthy for life.

What can you do to make sure your toddler gets enough exercise? I think the best thing is to give them the opportunity to do what they love to do. Take them outside. If you have a yard or a park or playground nearby, they will entertain themselves by running around. Peanut likes to play Red Light, Green Light - she’ll run back and forth across our lawn forever if she can. Or you can play catch with them, which with toddlers, involves a lot of running after the ball. They can play in the leaves or pull a wagon full of their toys around. Whatever it is, it is good for them.

You can also start to introduce your toddler to hikes and longer walks. We have a track nearby, and I could take Peanut to walk. Don’t expect to get your own workout in - it’ll be too slow paced for you, but just right for tiny toddler legs. If you have an easy hike or nature trail nearby, bring your kid. Or even a mall or a museum. These require lots of walking around and they have the added benefit of having things to distract your children as they walk. If you walk and take your child in a stroller, let her walk a little on your way home.

I have workout videos that I do. When Peanut was a baby and was cranky, I’d put her in her carrier and exercise with her. The movement put her to sleep. Now when I exercise, she does it with me. It’s cute. I don’t force her to do it; I just ask her if she wants to. Mainly, she just jumps around while I do the moves on the video. Either way, it’s great exercise.

There are tons of things to do with your children to make sure they get enough exercise. It is so important - I may not have the best eating habits, but at least I can show her that moving and being fit is important. What do you do with your children to encourage activity?